rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, a dating website, explains how to deal with conflicting emotions and respect boundaries so that you can avoid complications and maintain mutual respect.
Have you ever faced a situation where your friend's wife or partner flirts with you?
It may not be over the top but there are the subtle signs -- the charming smile, the playful teasing or just eye contact.
And then, boom. It stops. All of a sudden.
Maybe, after that all stuff, they ghosted you.
But there is no explanation. Just an awkward silence between the two of you.
How do you deal with the person and the situation after that?
According to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, if you think the person has rectified her/his behaviour, you must 'respect the boundaries' and not over-pursue the person.
Do read his advice on how to deal with your emotions and avoid unnecessary complications so that you maintain mutual respect:
Anonymous: My friend's wife has been flirting with me for the past 13 to 14 years. But for the past one or two years, we have only been talking.
Now whenever I talk to her on the phone, she does not reply.
And when people from the society meet her, she talks a lot but it is not like before. What should I do?
Dear Anonymous, I understand that you are dealing with something very emotionally confusing and sensitive. But, from the very beginning, it has been wrong; don't you think?
I don't want to assume that you flirted back or indulged in the behaviour but, to begin with, the dynamics were off given she's your friend's wife.
Chances are she realised that it wasn't right and decided to rectify it by setting boundaries. If that's the case, I would advise you to respect the boundaries and do not push her or over-pursue her.
I would also suggest you reflect on why it bothers you so much?
If you still want answers, you can ask her but very carefully. For instance, 'I noticed that we don't talk much these days. Is there something bothering you? If so, I totally understand and respect your decision. I just wanted to know if I did anything wrong.'
This way you are not putting the blame on her.
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