Bengaluru: When a boy in his class tried to steal something and then kept it back, the teacher reached out to his mother. "The teacher told my mother I was delusional," said Pranav, a person with autism.
But if there was one thing that stood out from the incident and from several in Pranav's life, it was that his mother stood up for him. "She was the Florence Nightingale of my life, carrying the lamp that healed me throughout my life," he said.
This sentiment echoed among families who gathered for testimonials at ‘Spanning the Spectrum', a three-day symposium on autism spectrum disorders that began at the Bangalore International Centre on Sunday. There was one unanimous appeal from parents who had children succeeding in life in various ways — do not hide your child.
Kajal Roy, founder director of Samaveesah (inclusion in Sanskrit), and mother of Aditya, an adult autist, had one request to all parents — ‘Please do not hide your child.'
"The child is facing the world. Become your child for one day and see the difficulties he or she is facing. And then appreciate how much the child is doing for you. Don't hesitate to ask for help. I've asked for help from everybody," she added.
Echoing her sentiments, G Vijaya Raghavan, founder and honorary director of CADRRE, an autism centre in Thiruvananthapuram, said, "Both my daughters are deaf. But then we are told not to tell anyone they are deaf because they have to get married at one point in time. I said they are deaf. They will remain deaf forever. If they get married, they will get married. But the fact is that you can't hide. And the reason I used to tell people is that I wanted to hear what options are available. So especially for parents, it's necessary. Don't hide the fact that you have a child with a disability."
Dos and Don'ts for families
* Celebrate your child
* Ensure consistency of approach at home and therapy
* Reinforce and reward all good responses
* Pay attention to siblings or other family members
* Explain in advance — structure helps
* Don't blame yourself
* Don't remember the stares
* Don't go by the labels PDD-NOS, PDD, Asperges
* Don't hesitate to ask for help
* Don't rearrange your whole world around your child
— Source: Kajal Roy, founder director, Samaveesah