Imagine if Ray Clay, the voice that ignited the Chicago arena, were to announce the newest Team Trump 2024 line-up. Close your eyes and let Sirius by The Alan Parsons Project echo in the background. It’s 2024, and the air is thick with MAGA fever. Each pick is making Washington pundits go redder. There’s the former news anchor who is now head of Pentagon. There’s a new department that sounds like a Yes Minister spoof with two billionaires in-charge. There’s Secretary of Homeland Security who shot her own dog and one guy who everyone confuses with an iconic rock band.

(Read to the tune of Chicago Bulls announcer Ray Clay announcing the 1997 Chicago Bulls team with Sirius by the Alan Parsons Project playing in the background)
And now... the starting lineup... for your... new Team Trump!
From Jacksonville, Florida, the White House Chief of Staff, the only person who can keep Donald Trump in check… Susie Wiles.
From West Carthage, New York, the man who tussles with AOC and now the ‘Border Czar’… Tom Homan.
From Albany, New York, the new U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations… Elise Stefanik.
From East Meadow, New York, the new Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency… Lee Zeldin.
From Boynton Beach, Florida, the man who loves India and keeps a wary eye on China, now the National Security Adviser… Mike Waltz.
From Hope, Arkansas, the man picked to bring peace to the Middle East as the new U.S. Ambassador to Israel… Mike Huckabee.
From Forest Lake, Minnesota, the man who runs with the fox and hunts with the hounds, the new Secretary of Defense… Pete Hegseth.
From Watertown, South Dakota, the Secretary of Homeland Security… Kristi Noem.
From Mount Prospect, Illinois, the man tasked with overseeing the nation's secrets, the new CIA Director… John Ratcliffe.
From Miami, Florida, the seasoned Senator and first Latino Secretary of State… “Little’ Marco Rubio.
From Pensacola, Florida, the fiery advocate and now the new Attorney General pick… Matt Gaetz.
From Kailua, Hawaii, Army veteran and surfer, now the Director of National Intelligence… Tulsi Gabbard.
From New York, New York, the real estate tycoon with Middle East ambitions, now Special Envoy to the region… Steve Witkoff.
And finally, from Pretoria, South Africa, and Cincinnati, Ohio, the new co-leads of the Department of Government Efficiency… Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy.