Mucking with Movies: ‘A Quiet Place: Day One’

I’m on the road with the ski team training in Mt. Hood, so I took some teens with me to see “A Quiet Place: Day One.”

It’s one of those movies where the quality is almost beside the point, one that is made to capitalize on a previously-established property that is almost guaranteed to make money. It is as straightforward a creative process as could be: The idea is already there, hire a Hollywood stalwart to write the script and expand on the lore just enough, do a decent job on the CGI, plug in some reputable actors, and get on with the money-printing.

It’s so the other risky ideas, of which there are fewer and fewer that the studios are willing to take a chance on, can be made and afford the chance of not turning a profit. As a result, there is a ceiling on how good these movies can be. Their targets are purposely easily attainable, with a low bar to clear.

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“A Quiet Place: Day One” doesn’t do much wrong; it just doesn’t do much right either. 

The greatest allure that had gotten me into the theater was looking forward to New York City being destroyed. I dream of it often, so anytime it pulls through on-screen, it thrills me.

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There are levels, of course, the best version being the original “Cloverfield” movie and the worst being “Day After Tomorrow.” Horror movies are usually best when they take simple concepts from outside-the-box thinking, something like “The Purge” series. Twelve hours where all crime is legal — not terribly brilliant but certainly terrifically creative.

The “A Quiet Place” universe fits that theory. In a world where we are invaded by hideous aliens with bad eyesight and great hearing, the idea does all the heavy lifting that you just have to not get in the way. While leaning into horror aspects, the concept mandates that the films have survival elements, as well.

Lupita Nyoung’o is perfectly cast as hospice-suffering Samira who is navigating her way through monster-torn New York City in pursuit of some pizza. A deeply-relatable idea, I would also die looking for the last slice of New York pizza. It’s the only reason I would ever go back to that godforsaken city.

Capable of breathing life into even the most mundane moments, Nyoung’o will impress no matter what the script has for her. With her wide eyes, she is capable of cutting through the silence the film’s concept demands; she expresses more with only a look what inferior actors couldn’t do with an entire five-minute monologue. With her mouth covered by her hands, desperately trying not to squeak out a noise so as not to alert the invaders of her presence that would get her and her cat killed; fear, shock, and overwhelming dread from both current situations and past pulse through her irises. 

It is a bummer that with all of the basics in place, with all the basics even overachieving at every turn, director Michael Sarnoski never even attempts to sneak in a deeper theme. I had a professor once, an Italian dude who taught film history classes and couldn’t care less about us, who after we would screen the movie in class would crawl up onto his desk to sit criss-cross apple sauce, and ask us in his thick accent “So, what is this movie really about?”

Usually, I can know the answer once I’ve watched the entirety of a movie. Some are easy to figure out, where they do everything but explicitly scream what they’re trying to see; others are subtler, with several possible answers that all could be right. But, they all have one.

I walked out of “A Quiet Place: Day One” with no idea what the artists involved were trying to say. I still have no idea. I think if I watched it 10 times, I would still have no idea. It is an empty husk of a movie that is about getting from point A to point B in as direct a way as possible. 

What we get along the ride of “A Quiet Place: Day One” 99-minute runtime is entertaining but was never intended to be watched twice. This is particularly infuriating, as it wastes Nyong’o’s performance who is trying to strive for something more. It hints at larger ideas, but even she cannot haul the flick to impactful single-handedly. My dystopian future is that every Hollywood film follows this blueprint to guarantee money-makers. 

Critic Score: 5.3/10

Average Teen Score 7.75/10

Jack Simon is a mogul coach and writer/director who enjoys eating food he can’t afford, traveling to places out of his budget, and creating art about skiing, eating, and traveling while broke. Check out his website jacksimonmakes.com to see his Jack’s Jitney travelogue series. You can email him at jackdocsimon@gmail.com for inquiries of any type.