Did you know that people who provide essential care for those in need are at a high risk of loneliness?
I see loneliness frequently among those who are the primary caregivers of a loved one with dementia. Loneliness stems from a feeling of isolation and can hurt both mental and physical health.
Loneliness can trigger behaviors and thoughts that may start a chain reaction of emotions that turn the generous act of caregiving into a nightmare. Depression, despair and feeling detached from life may result. I’ve even seen cases where people caring for someone with dementia begin to show signs of cognitive impairment themselves, triggered by loneliness.
Dutifully caring for another has other consequences, some directly resulting from adding new obligations to life. Caregivers typically get less sleep, eat poorly, skip meals or eat more junk food. They also exercise less and experience higher stress levels than many others, which may be responsible for the documented likelihood of alcohol or other substance abuse. Adding to the consequences of caregiving, loneliness can increase your risk of many physical ailments, including cancer, heart disease, inflammation and a suppressed immune system.
Still, providing care for a loved one may be an unavoidable obligation. The question, then, is, what can we do to mitigate caregiver loneliness and its consequences?
A walk a day keeps the blues away
One of the most important things we can do while caring for someone else is to carve out time for ourselves. Meditate, read a book, listen to music, socialize or watch television alone – whatever brings you peace and comfort.
Exercise as a form of self-care deserves extra attention because it can also increase stamina and energy while improving our disposition. Exercise doesn’t require daily trips to the gym, running or cycling. These are great — but a short daily walk can work wonders.
Some people like the convenience of a physical activity tracker that reports steps or miles walked daily, reminding them when they haven’t put in their steps. If you’ve never tried yoga, you can find many videos for beginners online that you can practice in the privacy of your room.
Say yes to help
You might feel like you must do it all yourself – but that isn’t true.
When you’ve finished all your daily obligations, don’t cancel plans with your friends, or the gym or yourself, unless necessary. This will only further feelings of isolation.
If family members or other loved ones can’t take over for a period of time, search local resources for home visitation services or respite care. A paid professional can take over for a brief period to allow you to focus on yourself.
Stay social
A strong network of friends can help you feel more resilient, so when inevitable issues arise, they have less effect.
Most of us know well how friends can help us through personal trauma or illness, and the same applies here. Today, we enjoy a variety of technologies that can fill in when face-to-face meetings aren’t possible.
Sometimes you may need more support than friends can provide, especially if you’re experiencing depression or anxiety. Caregiver support groups are excellent resources that can help stave off loneliness and improve your caregiving.
I facilitate Memory Coffee & Compassion twice monthly on Zoom and in-person. To learn more, please visit familyconnectmemorycare.com.