By Melissa Heckscher, Correspondent
It was an unconventional speech for an unconventional prom:
With his “Prom King” ribbon newly stretched across his body, 55-year-old David Adams recently stood shoulder to shoulder with his date on stage and addressed the packed crowd of onlookers watching from the dance floor.
“If someone here needs a friend, raise your hand,” he said with a smile so big you could see it from far across the room.
A scattering of hands shot up, unabashed.
“I’m here,” he continued, his eyes still scanning the crowd and his partner of 25 years, Faith Demos, all smiles alongside him. “If you need a friend, I’m here.”
There was thunderous applause.
The applause was because Adams and his prom queen, Faith Demos of Lomita, had, albeit unintentionally, just defined everything that makes the Exceptional Kids Organization so exceptional.
“The happy is contagious at these dances,” said Sandra DeMond of the Exceptional Kids Organization, the nonprofit that has been holding the annual special needs prom for 22 years. “You can be in the worst mood and these dances just make you happy. These people are so much nicer than typical people.”
This year’s prom, on Friday, May 31, drew more than 500 people to the Westdrift Hotel in Manhattan Beach, bringing together special needs teens and adults (prom attendees have to be 14 or older and never “age out”), as well as parents, caregivers and volunteers.
The prom, parents said, gives their kids a place to feel included and safe.
“It’s a nicer world here,” said Linda Perry, whose 18-year-old daughter, Sara, has special needs and attends a hybrid special education program at West High in Torrance. “She can be herself here. I don’t have to be right next to her. I know she’s OK.
“That wouldn’t be the case in a traditional prom setting.”
An inclusive place
EKO, a Torrance nonprofit dedicated to providing support and social enrichment for people with special needs, holds classes, dances and other social events throughout the year, including its annual prom every spring.
It was founded in 2000 after El Segundo resident Beth Muraida decided that her son’s special education class wasn’t receiving the same level of support as the regular education classes.
So she enlisted parents, teachers and community members to help form a new organization to fill the gaps, and they started holding monthly themed dances and a prom that drew more 100 teens and their families in its first year.
Over the years, EKO has expanded its reach, now supporting more than 500 individuals with special needs and their families through monthly activities and educational programs.
EKO also awards up to $10,000 a year in classroom grants for teachers serving the special needs community.
“There’s so much that the district will not pay for,” said DeMond, who has a son with cerebral palsy and autism, “something as simple as a refrigerator or a quiet area for autistic students who need a place to go.”
The dances, DeMond said, give people with special needs — disabilities range from cognitive delays to physical handicaps — a place to feel accepted. They’re also a respite for parents, many of whom attend the events with their teen and adult children.
“This is a great place for parents to feel safe about the conversations they’re having.” DeMond said. “Typical parents aren’t going to sit around and say, ‘I’m having a hard time finding pullups for my 34-year old,’ or, ‘My child hit me.’”
Even more importantly, the dances give people who are normally on the outskirts of social circles a way in.
“Parents can drop them off once a month and their young adult can hang out with their friends and have a hot dog, sit at tables and laugh and just hang out,” DeMond said, “something we do all the time.”
‘A Night in the Emerald City’
At first glance, it looked like any other prom.
Holding their tickets for admittance, guests walked through a doorway lined with streamers into an open ballroom. In the sprawling event space, which took up the whole lower level of the upscale South Bay hotel, some people sat at tables; others went straight to the dance floor.
The theme was “A Night in the Emerald City.”
There were glittering green gowns. There were sparkling gold jackets. And there were “Wizard of Oz” decorations.
Corsages were tied onto wrists, boutonnieres were pinned onto lapels. A few couples held hands — and some embraced.
But a closer look revealed some differences:
A caregiver on the dance floor pushed a boy in a wheelchair. The boy rocked back and forth rhythmically, his eyes closed and his body crumpled forward, while the caregiver smiled warmly.
“I can tell he’s enjoying himself,” she said. “The way he moves. His energy changes here.”
Another boy leaped up and down with his eyes closed. His feet hit the dance floor loud enough to make a knocking sound, but the people around him didn’t seem to mind — they were, after all, dancing together.
And, unlike most proms, the ages ran the gamut. Some people were in their 60s, even their 70s. There were wrinkled smiles, groups in wheelchairs, and couples from senior homes, DeMond said.
“Everybody just has a difference here,” said Annika Johnson of Manhattan Beach, a 19-year-old with special needs who attended the prom with her boyfriend, Isaac Ortega, 25. “But everybody else just accepts that.”
It takes more than 100 volunteers to put on the annual prom, which is funded entirely by donations.
Many parents said the EKO prom gives their kids — no matter their ages — the chance to experience a “normal” rite of passage.
“The last thing you ever want your kid to go through is not experiencing the normal stuff,” Perry said.
“So for (daughter Sara) to be able to participate in a very normal part of life and youth development,” she added, “It’s been a blessing.”
Lawndale resident Janae Green echoed her sentiments. It was her 15-year-old daughter’s first time at the EKO prom.
“Special needs children are never included in things,” Green said as she watched her daughter, decked out in a green gown and wearing a glittering gold tiara, dance with 15-year-old Julian Milton, who is also autistic. “When I found out about this, I said, ‘We’re going.’”
Sara Perry said the dancing is the best part.
“It’s really fun,” said the teen, who came to the prom with a group of friends from Mychal’s Learning Place, an organization that provides classes and support to youth with developmental disabilities.
At her high school, she said, “people tend not to dance with me.”
“Here, I can dance with people,” he added. “I think tonight is going to be a memory I won’t forget.”
Crowning the prom king and queen
Like any prom, the EKO Prom has a king and queen. But this year’s crowning was a first for the prom — marking the first married couple to win the title.
Demos and Adams have been together for 25 years and live with Demos’ mom, Adrian, in Lomita. They were chosen because of their extensive history of volunteering, both at EKO and in the community at large.
“Yes, they have a disability, but put that all aside, and they are both exceptional people,” said Adrian Demos. “They pick up recycling. They know all the people who are homeless; they take their own money and bring them food. They are really loving people.”
Faith, 49, has worked as a candy striper for Torrance Memorial Hospital and a noon aid for Torrance Unified School District. She has volunteered at Community’s Child Food Bank and for EKO dances, helping set up and clean-up after events. She has also worked at Ralph’s Markets and AMC movie theaters. This, despite the fact she has a seizure disorder that, her mom said, has led to mental health issues and some developmental delays.
Her husband, David Adams, has mild cognitive delays. Still, he is a member of the California Conservation Corps. He volunteers with numerous organizations, including Project Shepherd, Habitat for Humanity and Community’s Child Food Bank, where last year he was named “Volunteer of the Year.” He has worked at Nissan, Mattel and Toyota, as well as at Trader Joe’s for more than 12 years.
Both of them have participated in the Special Olympics for golf, bowling and softball/baseball. Demos even went to the Special Olympic Games in Abu Dhabi in 2019, where she won a gold medal in golf.
The couple have been to the prom 12 times. When asked what he likes best about it, Adams gave his reasons as a list:
Friendship. Independence. Social skills.
“Some people are a little timid, and you have to accept what it is,” he said, referring to people who might be nervous about attending the prom. “But they’re out there showing bravery to get out of the house and do something.”