Oh Volodymyr, how you remind us that every 100 years Europa appoints a stooge to gum up the works. It must be nice to know exactly what you want in life. When existential quandaries plague our citizenry, you are enlightened enough to know that all a person really needs in life is ATACMS and HIMARS. There may not be a Ukrainian phrase that can intercommunicate “nonviolent communication,” but when I hear you say “our partners won’t let us attack Russia” I feel confused and afraid. Fear from the fact that you refuse to discuss a cease-fire.

Confusion by the reality that some of your statements leave me asking myself: “Who is running this man, anyway?” Those who call for incessant conflict have found a darling in this well-spoken (i.e. properly rehearsed) proxy. Rallying around him are the most sophisticated and refined leaders of the European super-state, who let’s be honest will not have to actually get their hands dirty. As Sir Cameron stokes the fires of World War 3, it poses a situation to New England which could wreak more havoc than a short and disappointing leaf peeper season.

However … maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe you are the hero we are all looking for. Surely, our savior is the little man who wants so hard to defeat a bigger man, and does the most courageous thing anyone could do, they run and ask their friends for help when they’ve bitten off more than they could chew.

Ahmad Esfahani

Greenfield