These Are The Strangest Ways Jalopnik Readers Have Used Their Vehicles

Classic story. We were looking at a new Minivan years ago. My girls piled into the way back seats, the sale drone sat in the center row and my wife and I got in the front seats. While we were adjusting things, the sales drone was talking about all the features of the van. My 3 year old girl suddenly farted loud enough to be heard a parking lot over and said “I like it! It makes my Toots louder!” Then my 5 year old farted and said “same for me”. Then the entire test drive the two kept interrupting the sales drone asking him to judge which one had the loudest fart.

Best.. Testdrive... Ever.

PS, we decided to not spend money on leather seats. We would have had to get ear plugs.

Suggested by: hoser68

Once, I tried to take my dog in my Miata. I wouldn’t have normally done this, as I tend to be a sensible person, but he had just had a tooth removed and my wife had something come up, so the Prius wasn’t available to pick him up from the vet’s office.

He kept trying to get into the back seat, where he typically rides, and absolutely would NOT take “it doesn’t exist” as an answer. So he spent the whole time kind of straddling the driver’s seat behind my head for no readily apparent reason. And, did you know that dogs tend to drool like crazy after surgery? I was a slobbery mess after just a ten minute ride.

It was not the best.

Suggested by Give Me Tacos or Give Me Death

My cousin’s step-father once tried to pull a fallen tree out of his back yard by tying one end of a rope around the tree and the other end to the front bumper of his car - a Chevy Vega wagon.

The first attempt snapped the rope.

The second attempt, with a stronger rope, wound up yanking the bumper off one of its mounts and bending it into a large chrome ‘V’

The third attempt, with the rope tied around what i believe was the rear axle, resulted in the car digging itself into the soft ground. It took four of us to push the Vega out of the mud after the tree was untied from the car.

There was no fourth attempt. All our effort and sweat had managed to move the tree maybe three feet.

The log remained stubbornly in the same spot until my cousin’s ST took a chain saw to it about a year later.

Suggested by Earthbound Misfit I

My parents had a small screened in porch pool house that a tree had fallen on. it was unsafe to be in and after cutting out two walls the roof hadn’t completely fallen. We wrapped chains through the back windows and hooked it up to my dads 02 Dakota and proceeded to rip the building down. I was 17 at the time and it was thoroughly satisfying to be behind the wheel of that truck causing so much destruction.

Suggested by TooOldForThisIsh

Well I wish I could say that I used the Charger for vehicular skydiving, use a dam as a ski jump, take out a helicopter, take out two helicopters, and take out a nuclear submarine; but no. All I’ve got is how the Charger’s large flat vinyl roof was better for hauling thick styrofoam sheets from Home Depot that were tied to the roof. The Home Depot minion was startled seeing me use the Charger for that purpose, but a car is a car.

Suggested by the1969DodgeChargerFan

I was moving from my old house and had to make a dump run to drop off some trash in my truck. I also had a chicken that was not making the move and was being gifted to my friend to live with his chickens. I decided I did not want to make two trips and put the chicken into a cardboard carrier meant for cats. On the way to the dump the chicken broke out of the carrier and sat on the dash (it is warm). I rolled the window down just a bit to give the attendant my info as I entered the dump. The attendant being able to peak into the truck a bit through the window asked “Is that a live chicken”. I replied “sure is” and proceeded to drop off everything at the dump and go to my friends house. Chicken didn’t even poop in the truck. That dump attendant has a story to tell forever.

Suggested by klone121

Senior year in college and for my physics degree we need to do some sort of thesis project. Small college so not a ton of resources, but another student was going to build a small wind tunnel 1st semester. So I am like great, I will design something that uses the wind tunnel 2nd semester (I needed to do my project 2nd semester for other reasons). He is ‘building’ the wind tunnel according to him, but doesn’t finish it in the first semester, but is promising it will be done ‘soon’. Foolishly take him at his word and go ahead designing my experiment to use his wind tunnel. Of course when it is time for me to actually test my device, he is nowhere close to being done.

But I have a car and it can go wind tunnel speeds. So I redesign my device to use my car, a 1992 S-10 Blazer, hanging the device out the side (affixed solidly)...and it totally worked. Worked just as predicted. Not a very well controlled experiment...would have been much better with the wind tunnel. And the experiment itself ended up being more of an exercise in engineering than physics.

In retrospect I should have done something else for a project. Not overly proud of the work to be honest. At the time I really wanted to be an aerodynamicist so that sort of clouded my judgement of what to do.

Suggested by iblameRichardScarry

In college I worked for a semester in a biochem research lab. While my job mostly involved washing glassware and keeping their computer running, I also had to make several trips to obtain, let’s say “research materials.” The lab was investigating some details of the fertilization process. Once a month I had to drive about 100 miles to a slaughterhouse, and collect two five-gallon buckets of fresh pig epididymides, the tubes in which sperm are stored after being produced in the testes. I would stand near the beginning of the processing line, and wait while the workers tossed them into the buckets. It was almost the only part of the animal that wasn’t used in some other way. I actually found it interesting, and still think everyone should visit a slaughterhouse once. I was driving a really crappy 1979 Chevette. One day on the way to school the shift lever came off. Not just the knob; the entire lever and mechanism that was spot welded to the floor came off in my hand. Luckily it was in second gear, so I was able to limp it home, drill some holes, and screw it back down.

Suggested by CSX321

I used a Porsche 944 to move a 12ft Japanese Lilac tree from the tree nursery to my house. Lowered the stump through the removable sunroof onto the passenger seat and drove it home.

Worked flawlessly, saved the $50 delivery fee.

Suggested by Margin of Error

Well, per the headline, my dad once grilled weenies over the engine block of a rental car while we were vacationing in Hawaii. We were in Volcanoes National Park at the time. I was four, so I don’t remember much of that trip, but I remember that. I also remember tripping on lava and tearing up my leg, watching hula dancers, snorkling, and really really REALLY wanting to bring a leaf home for my collection. The leaf was a palm frond as tall as my dad. I was told “no”.

Suggested by Calli Arcale

Not me, but my mom back in the 70s. She needed to smash graham crackers for a cheesecake crust. Wrapped them up in plastic, then into a paper grocery bag, and proceeded to drive over them about 20 times, with our ‘67 Country Squire.

Suggested by Kurt Radelow

Pandemic Hockey locker room??

Loved (not) laying out the gear on the hood while the goalie child was on a blanket getting into gear to then walk across the parking lot and into the rink all suited up and sweating - to then have to pass a temperature check to get in. They eventually realized the kids needed to wait in the cold a bit to get a normal temp reading.

Suggested by Lima360

The story will tell you just how long ago this was. I bought a new TV antenna, a big high gain model. Came folded down in a box that was some 14 + feet long. I tied it to the outside of the very ratty ‘63 E Type coupe I was driving then, using bungees to strap it to the bonnet, the door handle, and rear vent window on the passenger side. It was almost as long as the car., but it worked. Should’ve taken a photo.

Suggested by Southern Expat In Maine

‘62 Corvair 700 sedan. Several trips with bulk semi-composted sawdust loaded in the the trunk for three gardens - my mom’s and two of her neighbors.

Stuff was way too loose to move with a pickup truck, and no bagging required.

Suggested by Lou Guay

Driving

Suggested by Gordon Stewart