A while back, we took note of a bouquet of bills proposed by the House Republicans aimed at addressing the critical issues facing this nation. To refresh your memory, these bills included the Liberty in Laundry Act (H.R. 7673), the Clothes Dryers Reliability Act (H.R. 7645), the Refrigerator Freedom Act (H.R. 7637), the Affordable Air Conditioning Act (H.R. 7626), and the Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards Act (H.R. 7700). First up, however, was the Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act, which is, believe it or not, headed to the floor, where it likely will pass, and thence to the Senate, where it will die a swift and painless death, only to be revived in a couple thousand fundraising emails. On Tuesday, it came before the House Rules Committee. Rep. Jim McGovern had some observations to make.

"These efficiency standards that are already put in place are going to save consumers millions and millions of dollars...Are you aware of the names of the other bills that were supposed to come before this committee? Let me read you the titles."

And so McGovern ran through the absurd litany of performance-art legislation one more time. He was particularly...ah...interested in the Refrigerator Freedom Act and the Liberty In Laundry Act.

"Here's why I think we're not considering those bills [on Tuesday]. I think it's because they are an embarrassment to this institution. It seems to me that Republican leadership probably realized the irony of bringing up a bill about freedom for refrigerators while simultaneously taking freedom away from millions of women in this country by overturning Roe v. Wade. And maybe they realized that it was a bad look to talk about liberty in laundry while simultaneously taking liberty away from people who want to use IVF. I would just say that, when we use words like freedom and liberty, this is the United States Congress. These are words that are written into our founding documents, ideas that men have fought and died for. In Ukraine right now, soldiers and civilians are being killed because they're standing up for these very principles. When your side throws those terms around and talks about refrigerator freedom, it cheapens them. It degrades those words and it degrades this institution.
"It was laughable, given all that is happening in this country, and all that is happening in the world, that the bills that contain the words 'freedom' and 'liberty' are about household appliances? We have to get serious around here about what is important and what is not...Again, I'll just finish by repeating whoever's coming up with your agenda -- freed0m for refrigerators and liberty for laundry -- ought to be reminded that this is the United States Congress and not Saturday Night Live.

SNL hasn't been this funny in years.

Headshot of Charles P. Pierce
Charles P. Pierce

Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.