The tech industry is trying to automate art. Be it visual art, filmmaking, novel-writing, or music, Silicon Valley “innovators” seem convinced that consumers just can’t tell the difference between work created by a passionate, human creative, and automated content delivered via soulless algorithm. It’s a terrible view of the world but here we are. This week, an AI music platform called Udio beta launched, generating some buzz online. Like most AI music distributors, Udio’s platform is full of acoustical nonsense. Udio says that its platform allows “anyone to create extraordinary music in an instant,” which seems untrue unless by “extraordinary” they meant “extraordinarily bad.” That said, most of the “songs” on the platform are mercifully less than a minute long. The platform is currently over capacity for making new tracks but we scrolled through what other users have made with Udio and found some of the most notably deranged tracks produced by its software. Apologies in advance.
Dune, the Broadway Musical and 8 Other Brain-Dead Songs From Udio's AI Music Generator
Despite lots of VC investment and buzz, AI "music" continues to be little more than a very expensive joke.
Dune, the broadway musical
Dune, by way of Oklahoma! Although the song sucks, this actually isn’t a bad idea. Take heed, Broadway.
you spilt a coffee on my dog
A pretty self-explanatory song that sounds like something Macy Gray might do if this ever happened to her dog.
My Man Sh*% In His Pants at Work
Another self-explanatory song with a nostalgic jingle to it. Enjoy.
Sausage Festivity
You can sort of imagine this one appearing in a commercial for Nathan’s Hotdogs or something. Maybe that’s what AI music should be used for: making braindead jingles for advertisements. Sounds right.
Netflix Nights Serenade
Automated folk music meets a tired premise in this overly long ballad about streaming. Fuck.
Toilet Tyrant
The metal genre is wisely tapped for this song about hell in the bathroom.
Ding Dong Dang It’s Taco Time!
This may be the dumbest thing I’ve heard all month.
Pineapple Anarchy
The pineapple-on-pizza debate gets the Black Sabbath treatment.
Wow...I Didn’t Know That
Garth Brooks should actually consider covering this song. It’s really not that far off from his usual fare.