‘I love my mom, but I shouldn’t be caring for an adult’ – teen (17) preparing for Leaving Cert appeals for help in looking after her mother

Shakira Williams (17) and her brother Thabo (15), who live in Tuam, Co Galway, are the primary carers for their mother Nadia (51). She was badly injured in a car accident on the N83 near Corofin in 2020.

Nadia’s eldest children, Abigail and Samuel, are providing financial support to the family, who moved to Tuam from Co Donegal in 2013.

However, the day-to-day care of Nadia, who sleeps in a hospital bed in the living room of their home, has fallen to her two youngest children.

Shakira said the roles of mother and child had been reversed since her mother’s accident. She does not know whether she will be able to sit her Leaving Cert because she has missed so much school.

“I’ve been caring for Mom since her accident when she was left with a variety of medical issues from memory problems to sleep apnoea and post-concussion syndrome,” Shakira said.

“I wake her, shower her, dress her and I administer her medication. I have gone from being her child to being the one who parents her.

“Instead of focusing on my Leaving Cert, I’ve had to take Mom to her numerous medical appointments, so I’ve missed a lot of school.

“Keeping her alive is my priority, not my education. I went from being a top student to not knowing if I will even be able to sit my exams.

“I shouldn’t be caring for an adult, it’s the most difficult thing I have ever had to do and if I had a choice, I wouldn’t be a carer. But I love my mom and I will do everything I can to keep her safe.

“I have also had to fight for our family to be put back on the housing list, after we were removed from it, and I’ll continue to fight for a house that is suitable to Mom’s needs.”

Thabo said he too had missed school, because he helps look after his mother.

“Mom comes first,” he said.

“I don’t get much sleep because Mom has to wear a mask for her sleep apnoea and if it comes off during the night I have to put it back on.

“I’m always thinking of and worrying about her – she needs proper care. It shouldn’t be the responsibility of a 17-year-old and a 15-year-old.”

Today's News in 90 seconds - 4th April 2024

Elaine O’Hara, a support manager with Young Carers Ireland, has been helping the family access help over the past 12 months. She said agencies were working together to try to help the family.

“We are trying to support the family but because Nadia is only 51, she is not eligible for home help support,” Ms O’Hara said.

“We have managed to secure a personal assistant through disability services where the family receive one hour of help, six days a week, but this has only recently been granted and it needs to be increased.

“There are a lot of barriers to overcome, but young carers like Shakira and Thabo shouldn’t have to sacrifice their education to ensure their mother is cared for and safe.”