The Rise and Fall of Boris Johnson: 12 things we learned from Channel 4's ‘definitive’ look at the former prime minister

There have already been documentaries and a trio of dramas: Sky’s series This England and Channel 4’s one-offs Partygate and Brexit: The Uncivil War.

But this four-part series is being touted as the “definitive” look at Johnson. Here are 12 things we learned from it.

1. HIS CHILDHOOD WAS UNHAPPY

Johnson, whose ambition as a young boy was to be “World King”, had a privileged but miserable upbringing. He was starved of love by his philandering father Stanley, whose abusive treatment of Boris’s mother drove her into a psychiatric hospital for a spell.

2. HE ALWAYS HATED NOT BEING THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION

An anecdote in the series relates how the young Boris, angered at the attention his sister was receiving on her birthday, jumped up onto the table she’d stood on to make a speech (you know, like normal kids NEVER do on their birthday), pushed her off and petulantly insisted everyone listened to his speech instead.

3. HE’S SHY AND SENSITIVE

According to Petronella Wyatt, who had an affair with Johnson when the two worked at The Spectator magazine, beneath all the bluff, bluster and bull, the real Boris is a shy, sensitive, insecure, vulnerable little flower who yearns for some real friends... aw! Now, what was that you said about selling me a 10pc share in London Bridge?

4. HE TRIED TO PAY HIS BIOGRAPHER NOT TO WRITE HIS BIOGRAPHY

Andrew Gimson recalled a panicked Johnson offering to buy him out of his contract. He told the author a satirical piss-take would be fine, but a serious book that “told the truth about me” could be disastrous for him.

5. HE PLAYED THE PERCENTAGES ON BREXIT

Johnson only decided to support — or pretend to support — the Leave camp 15 minutes before publicly announcing his decision, effectively stabbing his old Bullingdon Club pal David Cameron in the back. Privately, Johnson was so convinced the Remain side would coast to victory, he didn’t bother staying up for the results. The shellshocked look on his face at the following morning’s press conference silently screamed: “WTF have I done?”

6. HE RANTED AT HIS YUCCA PLANT

In order to write his infamous anti-EU columns for The Telegraph, thus giving its frothing readers what they wanted to hear rather than what he actually believed, the pro-EU Johnson used to work up some fake bile by shouting at the yucca plant he kept on his desk. Sadly, yucca plants don’t have a vote.

7. HE DIDN’T WANT TO WEAR A RING AT HIS FIRST WEDDING

Having been badgered into it, Johnson managed to lose the ring within two hours after tying the knot with Allegra Mostyn-Owen. She should have taken this as an omen.

8. HE’S NEEDY

According to Gimson, Johnson “can’t bear” to be alone, which might explain why he’s had numerous mistresses, one of whom, the aforementioned Petronella Wyatt, says: “He’s a very loyal person.” Just not to his first two wives, obviously.

9. HE SEES HIMSELF AS A KIND OF KNIGHT FROM CAMELOT

More likely, he’s a knight from the Monty Python and the Holy Grail musical Spamalot. Perhaps Brave Sir Robin, about whom it’s sung: “When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

10. HE LIES TO KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY

He lacks moral courage, says one contributor. He promises people things he knows he can’t deliver, because he hates letting them down.

11. HE BLOCKED AN EX-MISTRESS’S CALLS

When Jennifer Acuri was being hounded by the media, she rang Johnson for help. First he blocked her. When he finally answered, he handed the phone to someone who pretended to be Chinese. “What a wimp, what a spineless coward!” she says.

12. HIS MARITAL STATUS AS PM CAUSED CONCERNS

Whitehall mandarins were worried that Johnson sharing No.10 with his then-girlfriend, now wife, Carrie Symonds, would cause trouble. They were probably worrying about the wrong woman in his life.