In February, I had to endure reading a heart-wrenching story about a non-binary high school student severely beaten in a high school bathroom in Oklahoma. Nex Benedict, the student, was taken to the hospital not by ambulance, but by their grandmother, all because school officials refused to act appropriately.

Nex subsequently died a day later, I suspect from their injuries, but as I write I have not seen any definitive cause of death. In reality, the cause of death doesn’t matter; Nex should never had to endure what they did.

The incredible rise in hate in this country is troubling, to say the least. Disgusting is probably a more appropriate word. Now, hate in the U.S. is not new; ask any Black American living in the South. Ask Jews, Palestinians, Latinos, Asians — do I need to go on? I am firmly of the opinion that a good portion of the current turbocharging of hatred can be traced to 1) social media on the internet; 2) the current Republican leadership; and 3) former President Donald Trump, who normalized talk of violence in politics.

Despite this, although, I believe the majority of Americans don’t support this type of violence, are horrified by it, and simply want to live and let live.

Anti-this or anti-that has sadly become a hallmark of many in today’s GOP. Scapegoating LGBTQ people, or various religious and ethnic groups for this country’s ills, to me brings back memories of the Red and Lavender scares of the 1950s — instituted by Republican Sen. Joseph McCarthy. Unfortunately, the storied words that effectively ended those hearings — “have you no sense of decency?” — seem applicable here.

Many Republican members of Congress and state legislatures should take a moment to reflect on what their words and actions mean to real people, their constituents. Real people, all to often, seem to be just speed bumps in these members’ quest for power and control.

The students who attacked Nex in the bathroom are obviously guilty of a cruel crime and should be punished. Still, there are other guilty parties in my opinion, parties that will likely go unpunished. I think about the parents of these three female attackers. It’s hard to know for sure, but these girls’ hateful views on LGBTQ+ people may have been fostered at home. Religious leaders who continue to tacitly promote hate from their pulpits against anyone who is not straight and cisgendered likely also share some blame.

The same goes for the members of the government of the State of Oklahoma who publicly promote anti-LGBTQ+ bias and hate through discriminatory laws. The school and school district also share some blame for not handling this situation appropriately.

Back to Nex: As a transgender woman, I view Nex as a sibling from another mother. Nex identified as non-binary, and while I identify as female, two seemingly different forms of self-expression. Still, I feel we were more alike than different: Both Nex and I swam against the stream when it comes to our particular gender identifications. Because some people can’t understand this — it is deemed wrong or that it violates God’s will, despite the Bible saying we are all made in God’s image, the counter-argument I use when people take issue with LGBTQ+ folks.

I did not know Nex personally, but I have known many trans and non-binary young people like them. I’d bet we would have got along great, despite our large age difference. I can imagine us talking about our experiences, laughing and joking along the way. Our teen years are a confusing time, but I am encouraged that kids today have more options than I ever had. Well, I guess I had those options, too, but they were just much harder to exercise than today as these topics are more out in the open.

Now, I realize that there are people out there in the world who hate me for being transgender, and hate me for seemingly having a liberal stance on things. Actually, there are many things that I have some conservative views on, but when it comes to the health, safety, and human rights of others, to me, my liberal stance is non-negotiable.

I always think: Before someone decides they hate me for their own personal reasons, I just wish they’d take a moment to meet me, talk to me, see what makes me tick. They might be surprised that, despite being transgender, they might actually like me. I wish the three girls in the bathroom at that Oklahoma school had done the same with Nex — they might have been delightfully surprised at what a wonderful person they were.

Mariel Addis is a native of Florence. She left the area for 16 years but returned in 2013.