Gwyneth Paltrow Said Becoming A Stepmom Was “Rough” Because Of Her Initially “Difficult Relationship” With Brad Falchuk’s Kids

“It’s almost like you have to embody the spirit of the sun and just give and not expect anything back,” she said.

By
Ellen Durney
by Ellen Durney

BuzzFeed Staff

Gwyneth Paltrow got candid about the realities of becoming a stepmom.

Gwyneth Paltrow poses at an event in a strapless white outfit with layered necklaces
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As you may know, Gwyneth is mom to 19-year-old Apple and 17-year-old Moses, who she shares with her ex-husband, Chris Martin.

She and Chris “consciously uncoupled” back in 2014, and four years later she got married to Hollywood producer Brad Falchuk.

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Brad’s two kids, Isabella and Brody, are the same age as Apple and Moses, and so, when he and Gwyneth tied the knot in September 2018, they all united as one blended family — though it sounds like it wasn’t all that straight forward.

Gwyneth Paltrow in a green sleeveless dress and Brad Falchuk in a white suit stand together
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In August 2019, nearly a year after their wedding, the couple shocked people by revealing that they had yet to move in together for the sake of their kids’ happiness.

Brad Falchuk and Gwyneth Paltrow, smiling side by side in formal attire
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“I’m moving in September. We’ve just done it slowly,” Brad told WSJ. Magazine.


“Divorce is terrible, even when it’s the right thing to do,” he added. “And it’s really hard on kids. Come September, we’re all gonna Brady Bunch it up, and it’ll be great.”


Around this time, Gwyneth told InStyle that she and Brad deliberately took their time in order to allow their kids to “take it in and let the dust settle.”

And now, nearly five years later, Gwyneth is reflecting on the “rough” journey to fully bonding with her stepkids.

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During a live conversation at the Visionary Women’s International Women’s Day Summit this week, the Oscar winner discussed parenthood and asked if there were any stepmoms in the audience.

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“It's a bitch, right, guys? No, I actually, I really like to talk about this because it's one of my biggest learnings as a human being,” she said, adding that her “area of growth” came from “the initial difficult relationship” she had with Brad’s son and daughter.

Though she said she loves them like her own kids today, Gwyneth recalled that “the path to here was really rough,” before giving some advice on the tricky subject.

Gwyneth Paltrow posing with a smile in a textured, feathery outfit
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“It’s almost like you have to embody the spirit of the sun and just give and not expect anything back,” she said. “I just learned to try to just keep shining like the sun and never keeping score.”

By coincidence, her comments come only a few days after Dakota Johnson gave rare insight into what it’s like being a stepmom to Gwyneth’s kids since she started dating Chris Martin in 2017.

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“I love those kids like my life depends on it,” she told Bustle of Apple and Moses. “With all my heart.”

Proving to be the ultimate blended family, Gwyneth is still incredibly close with Chris, and has also described Dakota as one of her “very good friends.”

Two women on a red carpet, one in a red suit, the other in a black dress with fringe details, facing each other
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“I love her so much,” she said during an Instagram Q&A last year. “She’s an adorable, wonderful person.”

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