Édaein O’Connell: Therapy has saved me more than once, but at €80 a session, not everyone can afford to be rescued

'I still get the odd panicked look when I mention ‘therapy’ aloud.' Stock image

Édaein O'Connell

For my first therapy session, I dressed like I was trying to seduce an intellectual man. I wore an oversized plaid blazer, a fine black knit, wide-leg trousers and snake-print boots. The imagined gentleman in my head was not only some sort of dignified university professor, but also a closet fashion connoisseur. I plastered my face in makeup and, if I recall correctly, I finished the look with a pair of sizable gold hoop earrings.

Like a first date, I obsessed over what I would say, how I would break the ice. To help, I wrote down a list of all the things I wanted to tell him. Looking back, this list was a bittersweet attempt at convincing myself I was OK. I wrote statements like ‘Definitely a bit unhinged but gives good stories in the WhatsApp group’ and ‘Listens to a lot of James Blunt but he’s an underrated gem’.