1. "My husband grew up knowing that he was sick and had multiple long hospital stays for most of his childhood, but he didn’t know with what. At adolescence he noticed he was smaller in height than his peers and was late to mature especially in the changing room for gym class — hey, other guys have testicles and I don’t, what gives? Also when taking an interest in girls, he didn’t have the raging hormones like a typical teenager. ... When he turned 18, he went for a checkup at the children’s hospital and was asked if he would like to know his health information now that he was of age. He said yes."
"This is when he learned he had leukemia (ALL) at 3 years old and testicular cancer at 5 years old (so both testicles were removed), and that he couldn’t father children. Because this had been kept a secret from him, he had gone through puberty without the needed monthly testosterone injections, which he then started.
His entire life felt like a lie. He was shattered. Dating life was a no-go because he felt like a freak — as an adult he had testicular implant surgery, but starting testosterone injections at 18 is a disadvantage versus if he had started them at 12 years old. It really messed him up, and his self esteem took a huge hit. Eventually, I met my husband when we were in our 30s, and I love him so this didn’t matter to me, but every previous girl he confided in rejected him once he told them. We eventually adopted our daughter so he got his dream to be a dad.
But his parents never apologized or acknowledged his feelings — it was always 'you survived, get over it.' ... I understand back in the '70s this attitude was common — to not tell kids they had cancer to protect the child — but there is a reason why children with cancer today are told. The old attitude is a huge mindf*ck.
Today in his late 40s, he now has multiple atypical brain tumors caused by the childhood radiation, but when we asked his Mom the location of the radiation — Brain? Spine? Any records she had at home? — she refused, saying again it was 'nothing, he’s fine now.' This is crucial information his oncologist needed to plan his current radiation treatments. So we had to pay $200 for his 1979–1982 hospital records because we had zero cooperation from her. Sigh. She also called and berated him for posting a picture of his bandaged head after a craniotomy on Facebook, like his current condition was a big dirty secret.
Both of his parents have since passed so he will never get that closure, and it turns out his Mom, keeping with the 'sickness is shame' attitude, knew she had diabetes but left it untreated for years. We only found out after the Medical Examiner’s report."
2. "When I was 19, I dated this guy who liked me waaaaay more than I liked him. After almost two months of dating, I broke it off with him. I admit, it was not the most gentle breakup, but whatever. About three months later, I get a call from this irate woman claiming to be his mother. She told me that he died by suicide because of me. It was horrible. I felt so guilty and blamed myself. It took me a really long time to accept that it really wasn't my fault, and I was finally able to move on. Cut to three years later. My best friend of 10 years calls me and literally yells in my ear, 'YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHO I JUST SAW AT THE GAS STATION! PATRICK ISN'T DEAD!!!!' She confronted him, and he admitted that he just wanted to hurt me like I 'hurt him.'"
3. "In high school, I was dating a girl who was much more popular than me, and I was a shy guy. As time went on and I gained more confidence, I started getting opportunities to go to colleges in different regions. She was also a very ambitious person but suddenly quit all of her activities. She concocted this long, thought-out scheme where she got progressively more and more sick. She edited documents, she changed names on documents for her mother, and she made up a cancer and heart disease diagnosis. She made up a fake email, using the name of a doctor who I could look up. ... There were always reasons/excuses why I could only get some details."
"She would call me, acting 'high' from the chemo or other treatments. (BTW, my college opportunities were for sports, I’m a pretty dumb guy, so I was an easy target.) Eventually I got a text from her mom's phone, saying 'she died' (she had taken