Being in a committed relationship often involves wading through difficult emotions like jealousy, grief and fear. But one of the most insidious feelings is resentment.
From an unequal division of labor to a lack of appreciation between partners, many conditions can create a sense of resentment, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But left unaddressed, these underlying negative thoughts can spiral into destructive territory.
So how can you stop resentment from seeping into your relationship, and overcome this powerful feeling once it starts to take hold? HuffPost asked relationship experts to share their advice.
Don’t ignore bad feelings.
“The best way to avoid resentment is by addressing problems as they arise,” Damona Hoffman, the host of “The Dates & Mates Podcast,” told HuffPost. “Resentment usually appears after a problem has repeatedly been ignored, and we start to look at it as not simply a situation or incident, but a flaw within our partner overall or a pattern that we are stuck in.”
Rather than let frustration and disappointment build up, tackle issues with your partner through open communication and mutual understanding. Ignoring a problem just allows it to fester and become more entrenched ― and thus more difficult to resolve.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking the best course of action is no action,” said Tracy Ross, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples and family therapy. “If resentment is rearing its head, don’t ignore it. If it’s brief and short-lived, that’s one thing. But if you find yourself in a pattern, or noticing certain unsettling feelings and ways of relating to one another, make a conscious decision to brave the discomfort and address it.”
Hold regular check-ins.
“[Hold] regular check-ins with your partner that aren’t emotionally charged, so that you can build trust and clear communication with your partner before you get to a point where