I am a woman who hates 'solo travel' — this is why

A few years ago, I bought a single plane ticket to Athens and learned that such an act is still seen as some combination of revolutionary and strange by a large number of people.

When not reassuring those I told of my plans for Greece that this was in no way an "Eat Pray Love" type of emotional crisis, I was answering questions to the tune of "who are you going with?" (myself) and "aren't you scared?" (no) along with "but what will you do?" (my most pressing plans were to eat souvlaki in a taverna, hike Lycabettus Hill, and go to the Acropolis Museum before taking a ferry to see Cycladic architecture and swim on a beach with black sand.)

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I come from a family that sees movement between countries as the natural state of human existence and the thought that I should "bring someone" truly hadn't occurred to me. Traveling with friends is great too but anyone who has ever tried to organize a trip with even a few people knows just how hard it is to go from "we should do this sometime" to booked tickets and hotel rooms. I had two free weeks and the idea that Greece should be put off until I could do so with a friend or significant other was alien to me.

A woman relaxes in the beach water at a Cancun resort.

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The constant labels of 'solo travel,' 'female solo travel' and 'traveling solo while female'

While I do not believe in using travel to escape from problems and fill something that is missing within yourself, Athens and Santorini were all that I could have asked for in a trip. I loved the antiquity and the modernity, the anonymity of being in an entirely new place, and the September heat from which I sought respite in the salty water. 

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Had it not been for financial considerations, I would have done this for far longer and encompassed far more countries. It was only later, either through Instagram scrolling or some online article, that I learned that what had felt so natural to me was at that moment being dubbed as a "trend" by many on the internet: "solo travel," "female solo travel" or "why so many women are choosing to travel alone."

From Montreal and Chicago to Hungary and Norway, I have taken countless trips alone since that initial big adventure to Greece. Each trip satisfied needs and wants I had at different points of my life (Montreal was my first trip after staying in one place for almost two years during the pandemic while Norway was the extension of a work trip made possible by a $200 low-cost plane ticket between Oslo and New York) and felt way too personal to my own experiences to be captured by a term like Solo Travel. But social media likes classifying things, turning what should be seen as normal into "a thing."

'Solo travel often misses the multitude and diversity of reasons we go away from home...'

Traveling alone works better for some than for others — writers, introverts, and only children (I happen to be all three) tend to need additional company a lot less than others. But when you’re alone, you are also more likely to get out of the safety of established connections and approach people you otherwise wouldn’t talk to. Someone I sat next to on a 10-hour flight ended up giving me a tour of his home city and I still have friendships that began as a friendly question about life at a cafe — something I once thought of myself incapable of initiating in my own hometown..

There is also the issue of safety; I do not think of myself or particularly enjoy being called "brave" for traveling alone but there is no denying that there are many places or even situations that can prove to be incredibly unsafe for women. 

I so wish this were better for us but understand that the decision on whether to prioritize safety or do what brings us joy despite those who would rather keep us small is always a very personal one. Men can travel alone for no reason at all but for women it is often seen as some kind of defiant statement.

Along with being unevenly applied to women, a term such as "solo travel" misses the multitude and diversity of reasons people may move around the world without someone else — self-exploration is occasionally the root cause of such a trip but, more often, we simply need to get to a place and cannot wait for someone else to join us.

And yet even so, the term has taken off with all the power of a viral TikTok post. Every time I am asked if I do "solo travel," I answer that I do not but that I love to travel alone.