Check in on Your Conspiracy Theorist Uncles Today (Or Maybe Block Them)

Did everyone have a good Valentine’s Day??? Huma Abedin—the high-profile former Hillary Clinton aide and ex-wife to scandal-plagued, appropriately-named former Congressman Anthony Weiner—and her boyfriend Alex Soros hard-launched their relationship from Paris on Wednesday. And if you have a conspiracy theorist uncle or two, surely you already know this. I imagine Facebook and WhatsApp were blowing up about this development, because, as his last name would suggest, Alex Soros is George Soros’ son. That’s the George Soros, of Republican boogeyman fame.

From what I’ve gathered, George Soros is just some very wealthy Democratic donor, but because we live in a post-Pizzagate world, to certain corners of the internet, he is literal Satan, feasting on the blood of small children for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Enter Abedin, 47, and Alex Soros, 38, who are now apparently dating. It’s unclear how long they’ve been together, only that they’re clearly serious enough to celebrate V-Day cuddled up at a restaurant in Paris and post a photo of the outing on Instagram. But I truly wonder if they understand what they’ve unleashed on the world.

It really feels like 2016 is back in a big way. After all, what would a major presidential election cycle be without a needless, torrid political scandal stemming from someone Abedin is romantically linked with? Recall that her ex-husband Weiner was involved in several sex scandals over the course of their seven-year marriage. 2016 reports about Weiner sexting with a minor ultimately ended their marriage—and these reports also may have ended Clinton’s chance at the presidency. Days before the election, with Clinton already bogged down by right-wing narratives about political corruption, then-FBI Director James Comey published a letter disclosing emails from Clinton’s private server found on Weiner’s laptop amid an investigation into Weiner’s sexting. Of course, none of this really ended up meaning anything in the long run. But days later, Donald Trump won the election and the rest was history.

Alex Soros and Huma Abedin look so cute together.

MAGA nutjobs are not happy about this.

Looking good, @AlexanderSoros @HumaAbedin

Happy Valentine's Day. 💙💙 pic.twitter.com/HmvTcfbR47

— Dark Brandon (The 46) 🇺🇲 (@ajalexander944) February 14, 2024

Abedin doesn’t seem to have ties to President Biden and his reelection campaign. But because all top Democrats are one amorphous, demonic blob in the eyes of the terminally online far-right, who will forever regard Abedin as a vestige of Clinton and the Democratic Party machine, we’re inevitably in for torrents of right-wing conspiracy theories, which I’m honestly… fascinated by??? Like, let’s see how much more creative these free thinkers can get…

I’m already seeing tweets unironically bemoaning how Abedin is “dating the heir of the controller of the deep state.” End Wokeness tweeted side-by-side photos of Abedin with Clinton and Abedin with Alex Soros captioned, “Holy shlit. Hillary’s top aid Huma Abedin is dating Alex Soros, the son who is now in charge of the $25 billion family empire.” (“Holy shlit”…?) And in what is clearly a racist tweet, a user who describes himself as “ULTRAMAGA” shared a photo of Abedin and her new man captioned, “Hillary’s aide with connections to… let’s say, shady groups… is in a relationship with the guy who basically funds most of the SHlT we see going wrong in our country today!! Things starting to make sense?”

Sooo, check on your conspiracy theorist uncles today??? Or, rather, to protect your own peace—and to see fewer posts about the dangers of 5G, the pedophile Democratic cabal, and Clinton and Abedin’s globalist plot to end America—maybe just block them.