Guest columnist Rev. Julie G. Olmsted: Love and sorry

In the 1970s novel “Love Story,” made into a movie of the same name, one its famous lines was, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” In my years of loving and making mistakes (OK, we’ll say sinning), it seems to me there perhaps was never a more inaccurate or ludicrous statement.

I couldn’t say that the exact opposite is true, but it certainly might hold more truth than the original quote. In love, in marriage, in friendship and in every relational situation I can think of, sorry seems to be the hardest word (a great song of the ’70s by Elton John and Bernie Taupin) but also the most necessary, in order to get all parties back on track and in workable condition, in harmony, if you will, for moving forward, if there is to be a real moving forward.

This year Valentine’s Day occurs on the same day as Ash Wednesday, a day for Christians to acknowledge their frailty, their mortality, and their need for repentance (literally to “turn around”). Those in the mainline tradition receive ashes on the forehead to let it be known that we are aware of these facts and because of this we will take the next few weeks (until Easter) to engage in certain acts of repentance, prayer, good works and denying oneself of certain pleasures and indulgences to remember (once again) that all things of this world will pass, and God’s love alone will last forever.

The idea is to cling to that love, to seek it above all else, and to recognize that truly “All You Need is Love.” (Don’t need to tell you where that came from.)

How inconvenient it is that both the day for sweethearts and the Day of Repentance should occur simultaneously. Or is it? I’m thinking it’s perfection. Instead of clamoring for my sweetheart to take me out and spend too much money on a nice dinner (which I get pretty much any time I want), I will be down in Holyoke giving out coats and gloves and scarves to people on the street. It’s ridiculous how much I am looking forward to this, and I think I know why.

I haven’t loved as I should. I haven’t given like I ought. I have put being right and looking good ahead of loving my neighbor, and I know it. I have allowed my judgment of others to eclipse my mandate to love God and love my neighbor as myself. I literally have forgotten that the most important thing in life is to love.

So, I can’t wait to get those ashes. I’m going to ask for a heart instead of a cross. I can’t wait to give out those hats, coats, and scarves. I can’t wait for someone to say they’re sorry to me so I can forgive them. And I want to say for myself and my neighbor, myself and my country, myself and the world, “Dear God. We’re sorry here. We have been looking for power and winning instead of peace and reconciliation. We have been so afraid of being conned or looking foolish that we have forgotten that love really is having to say you’re sorry, then work harder to do better. We have been putting politics ahead of service and caring for the least of us. We have behaved like jerks and dweebs and cowards. And we’re sorry. We’re going to try to love better. Right now.

The Rev. Julie G. Olmsted lives in Northampton.