‘I lost my tolerance for bulls**t. My standards for myself were higher’ – the rise of dry dating

For some, the thought of a first date or sex with a new partner without alcohol is terrifying — but more and more people are trying sober dating. Four Irish women talk about what it’s like looking for love without alcohol

Stephanie Hyde, from Cork, has had men tell her she is not really Irish if she is not drinking, which she says helps her weed out those whose lives revolve around drinking culture. Photo: Michael Mac Sweeney/Provision

Kirsty Blake Knox

When Tawny Lara gave up alcohol, the thought of “dry dating”, let alone having sex sober, was “terrifying”. “[It] just seemed really scary. I had no idea how to navigate this world,” she says, “because I relied so heavily on alcohol, but more specifically liquid courage, to get me through awkward dates and to make me feel more empowered in the bedroom. And it was really, really difficult.”

Originally from Texas, Tawny worked at a bar throughout her 20s and lived the “stereotypical party-girl existence”. “I lived that whole life,” she says. “I was either bartending or on the other side of the bar, sometimes dancing on the bar. It was my whole world.”