When it comes to parenting styles, it seems like everyone has an opinion. With that being said, I asked older parents of the BuzzFeed Community some things about "modern parenting" that they think people will later regret. Here are some interesting things they had to say:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "Technology is a wonderful thing, but I do wonder what negative effects it will continue to have across generations. Little kids are pacified with phones in restaurants. Older kids don't care about learning how to spell 'because autocorrect will fix it' (it won't all the time). People can't go to concerts or sporting events without holding their phones up to document them. Even as someone who grew up before technology really took off, I find myself overly reliant on technology. What will it look like 20-30 years from now?"
2. "I’m a teacher of middle school students, and their parents can often set them up for failure with their helicopter, steamroller parenting mixed with shocking permissiveness. I’ve seen 13-year-old kids who aren’t allowed to use a toaster and parents who step in at the first sign of their kid feeling the vaguest discomfort. The kids are anxious and afraid because they have been given the message that they can’t cope with difficulties and that they need their parents to do it for them. Yes, keep your kids safe, of course, but don’t actively stop them from being challenged and developing the skills they’ll need as adults."
—Em, 40
3. "Honestly, sports parents. Specifically, sports parents who want their kids to be the number one perfect person doing whatever sport their kid is interested in, rather than paying attention to whether or not the kid likes it."
4. "I think there is a potential issue if you always get a kid a new meal when they don't want to eat what you made. I understand and agree with the importance of creating a healthy relationship with food and not wanting to force kids to eat something they don't want. Still, another thing to teach them is what they should eat to be healthy and that sometimes it's important to eat what you are given out of politeness, necessity, or appreciation of another person's effort."
"There are also times where if you let kids eat what they want, they'll eat nothing but pasta and goldfish and won't try anything new. Obviously, balance is key as kids should get a voice in what they eat, and forcing a child to eat when they are full, or something they really really really don't like or going 'you eat this or nothing' is way too far. But if you always make them something else when they could eat what they have in front of them just fine, you might end up with a kid who tells someone 'Oh, you spent all day laboriously making me my favorite food? Well, I'm feeling like mac and cheese tonight, so I'll catch ya' later' when they are older."
—Anonymous
5. "You are not their friend. You are their parent. Be someone they trust, but don’t try to hang out with them and their buddies, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Doing this leads to unrealistic expectations from you as a parent. That baby bird has to leave the nest, and if you’ve been treating them like a husband, wife, or therapist, you’re going to be so disappointed when they never want to come around. Your little princess and sweet baby boy are going to have sex. They are going to experiment. They are going to do something illegal, even if it’s small. It’s not always someone else’s fault. Someone else isn’t always the bad influence. The bad influence might be them."
