Rebecca Lim announces pregnancy with joy and wistfulness: 'If only my dad was still around'

It hasn’t even been a year since Singapore actress Rebecca Lim got married, and she’s already got happy news.

She revealed that she’s four and a half months pregnant, and is anticipating the birth of her first child with husband Matthew Webster early next year.

“I’m about halfway through my pregnancy, and the due date is before Chinese New Year. It will probably be a rabbit baby,” the 36-year-old told CNA Lifestyle.

Motherhood hadn’t always been her goal – she was “contented being the fun aunty” to her brother’s kid – “but I believe it’s because I met the right person and he made me want to become a mum", she shared.

"Before that, I was actually 50-50." 

Rebecca shared that her husband has “always been very clear about wanting kids". 

“I believe it’s because I’m with him, and I feel he’s very reliable. It’s just the right partner in life that makes me believe we can go through this together, and that made me want to start a family with him.”

While there’s joy, it’s also bittersweet, as Rebecca's father died just four months ago.

“There were a few tears … It was like, ‘If only my dad was still here’,” she said. “I’m sure he would have been a really fun grandfather. He’s always spoken about wanting to bring his grandchildren to have kaya toast and soft boiled eggs. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance.”

At the same time, Rebecca continued, “I feel very assured in this pregnancy, because I feel, in a sense, that my dad is watching over me”.

“That is a comfort, in a sense – he can’t be here, but he is here."

SORROW AND JOY

It was directly after her father’s funeral that Rebecca discovered she was pregnant.

“I got married in November, so from then until I found out was about six months,” she recounted. “After my dad’s funeral, my mum and I contracted COVID-19, so we were isolating together at my mum’s house.” During that time, her younger sister urged her to take a pregnancy test.

“My sister and I had always been very open with each other about wanting to start a family, and we’d been updating each other about our progress and how we felt each month.” 

That month, “I didn’t think too much about it because I had been on my honeymoon in the UK, then Korea for work, and back to the UK. And when I got back, my dad unfortunately passed away. It was a whirlwind of emotions and a lack of rest, and the time difference. I also had COVID-19. (Being pregnant) was the last thing that crossed my mind.”

But her sister said she had a feeling that Rebecca might be pregnant. And when the pregnancy test showed up positive, her sister was the first person Rebecca told. 

“I called her immediately and said, ‘You were right.’ She was like, ‘I knew it!’”

Rebecca added: “I couldn’t believe it, because as much as I wanted to start a family, I didn’t think it would happen at that point in time, when I was still processing my grief.”

She then called Matthew on the pretext that she needed some clothes from home.

"I wanted to tell him face to face. So, he came to my mum’s house with his mask on.”

Needless to say, being pregnancy-positive trumps being COVID-positive.

Although Rebecca didn’t experience major morning sickness – her appetite doubled and “I craved rice and noodles all the time”.

“The first trimester wasn’t the smoothest,” she divulged. “There were instances when we had scares that the baby was not very stable then.”

So she's been resting more and trying to get to bed earlier. 

"Basically, the first four months, I was quite sedentary. I was under doctor’s orders to not move around that much. But two weeks ago, he told me I could start going for short walks in the evening.”

As for whether the baby is a boy or girl, she admitted that she does have the results but hasn't "opened the envelope yet".

“We’re in the midst of moving house now, so we were thinking that after we’ve officially moved to the new place, we will invite family over for an intimate gender reveal. Matthew is a lot more excited to find out the gender than I am. I know what he’s hoping for, but I’m not going to say it because he insists he has no preference!”

Still, “We’ve thought of a name for the child if he’s a boy, and a name for if she’s a girl. We do have two English names in mind already.”

CONFINEMENT

It’s rather amusing, we pointed out, that she has a movie coming out called Confinement. It’s, er, not the most nurturing movie, though: The film is an intense psychological thriller about a first-time mum in a new home who hires a confinement nanny and sees strange things start to happen.

“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” Rebecca giggled. “Hopefully, my confinement process will not be anything remotely close to Confinement the movie. I remember thinking while I was filming for it that thankfully, I wasn’t pregnant then. It was very strenuous for me, emotionally and psychologically.”

In fact, just a month ago, she had to record some voiceovers for the movie. “The poor baby had to hear their mum scream a hundred times in the recording studio.”

In spite of it, Rebecca conceded, “It’s amazing that my first starring role in a movie is during such a special time in my life that coincides with the title of the movie. It’s premiering in October and by then, my belly will be in its full glory. Everything is very serendipitous.” She paused. “I haven’t used that word in a while!”

Like the character she plays, Rebecca will soon be moving into a new home with her husband.

“When we designed the place, we had no nursery in mind. We did not think that this blessing would be upon us so soon. It didn’t cross our mind to create a space for our baby,” she said. So, the walk-in wardrobe she’d always dreamed of is now “being converted into a baby room. There goes my dream!”

IN THE FAMILY WAY

In her journey of motherhood, “I’m not so nervous about the birth itself, but parenthood and raising a good child”, she mused. “Children nowadays don’t have as simple a childhood as we did. They have a lot more to navigate around. Hopefully, I’ll be a good support not only to my child but my nephews and nieces as well.”

What kind of mum does she think she’ll be? “I always thought I would be quite a chill mum, but my brother was saying I’m already so strict with my niece, I’ll be even stricter with my child. I’ll literally be a tiger mum,” she quipped.

However, she conceded, “I didn’t study that hard and I wasn’t a straight A student, so I can’t have the same expectation of my child.”  

As for Matthew, she believes he will be "quite strict".

“He’s quite a disciplined person and his parents were very strict with him as well. So I think that would have rubbed off on him in certain ways. But, I like that he’s going to be like that.

“We’ve been talking about our kid almost every day, and what we truly want for our kid is for him or her to be kind, respectful and strong.”

One piece of advice she’s gotten from mum friends is "to allow the husband to do as many things as possible, which I’m still learning to do, because I like to do everything by myself".

"He’s always like, ‘Can you give me more stuff to do?’ Sometimes I forget I’m pregnant, especially when I’m in work mode. Sometimes I push myself a bit too much. Then, I have to remind myself.”

While she acknowledges that there are unknown variables ahead, “I just want to enjoy this process for now and see where motherhood is going to take me.

"I believe Matthew wants two kids but I told him we’ll see how it goes. Many people around us struggle with starting a family. It’s been a huge blessing that this baby has arrived so soon.”

Settling into her own little family makes her think that her late father “won’t have to worry about this middle child any more”, she mused.

“I was the one he always worried about. Compared to my siblings who were straight A-plus students, I was maybe a B-minus. And maybe because I chose a career path that’s not as predictable as my siblings', he was always worried. But he was always my silent, biggest cheerleader.

“I’m sure he would be very happy for me. I think he would cry tears of joy.”