A woman has revealed the reason why she's leaving her disabled boyfriend, who became paralyzed after saving her life, and people all over the internet are heartbroken.
In a post shared on Reddit earlier in September, under the username u/Free-Tour-3719, the woman explained that her boyfriend became paralyzed from the waist down after an accident during a trip together to Thailand. He jumped in front of a moving car to save her life after the vehicle lost control due to a biker stopping to check his phone in the middle of the street.
Since the accident, their life has changed drastically and he is a totally different man, one that the poster can no longer deal with.
She wrote: "He has been diagnosed with PTSD from the accident and often has flashbacks in which he'll scream and sweat. He is distant and cold. His mental health is, to put it lightly, very bad. He spends most of his time on his PlayStation and we haven't been physically intimate for months. If he's not playing games, he'll be at the pub with his mates. He does cocaine with them.
"He says he can't enjoy sex anymore. He says he doesn't enjoy sex, with being the way he is. I've tried to tell him I still think he's gorgeous and no attraction is lost. He doesn't believe me. He has gained about four stone and finds no value in healthy life choices anymore.
"I feel like I'm living with my best friend who I'm in love with but like I'm in some sort of friend zone. He says I'm being paranoid. It's him, not me. He tells me he loves me."
PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, is a mental health condition that, according to the Mayo Clinic, is triggered by a terrifying event, either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
Marni Goldman, certified life coach, and author of True to Myself: Peace, Love, Marni, told Newsweek that it's understandable that the poster might feel a deep sense of guilt or obligation given the circumstances, but it's important to remember that even though the feelings of guilt, gratitude, and obligation are natural in such a situation, they should not be the sole basis for your decisions.
She said: "I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's situation and the challenges you're facing in your relationship. There is no one-size-fits-all to what's right or wrong in this difficult situation.
"Not only is he dealing with a life-changing physical wound, but he is also struggling with a drastic emotional wound. I can't even begin to imagine the inner turmoil, (possibly survivor's guilt) you might be experiencing. Being on the same page as one another and [having] healthy communication is imperative to move forward with this relationship. Regardless of the situation, drug use is not acceptable and unhealthy for you to be around. Acceptance and awareness are the beginning of any healing journey.
"Adjusting to a life-altering injury takes time. Try to be patient and understanding, but also set healthy boundaries if his anger becomes abusive or detrimental to your well-being. You don't have to put yourself in the line of 'emotional fire' and be the recipient of his anger. Dig deep and assess whether the relationship is healthy and sustainable given the new circumstances. If you both feel the love and are committed to working together, happiness might emerge."
Goldman added that while it's natural to face challenges during difficult times, the poster should also make sure that both of their needs are being met and that the relationship remains mutually supportive and respectful and doesn't become one-sided.
Moreover, she suggested: "Consider involving a professional, such as a counselor or therapist, who specializes in working with individuals and couples dealing with life-altering injuries. They can provide guidance and offer strategies to cope with the emotional impact of the situation."
The post quickly went viral on the r/TrueOffMyChest subreddit, receiving over 9,200 upvotes and 1,800 likes on the platform.
One user, nazrmo78, commented: "Your boyfriend's hooked on coke. The other issue will always be there, but as long as coke is involved, his decision-making process is off. What happened to him sucks but watch. he's using it to make it understandable why he needs to do coke. You gotta solve for coke addict before you solve for disabled.
"Also, that's also where your sex life went. It kills libido. You can't get hard, and the truth is you don't really care. Cuz you're high on coke."
And Shestammie said: "Probably one of those situations where you quit your job, move and start again. The chances of you leaving this relationship without serious judgment and contempt from everyone who knows you as a couple are very, very low."
Impossible-Friend-70 added: "You're not leaving him because he is disabled. You're leaving him because he has given up on life. That's not fair to you. You have communicated to him that he needs to stop the drugs and he needs therapy. He refuses. Now you leave. Not your fault at all. It's his fault for refusing to better himself."
Newsweek reached out to u/Free-Tour-3719 for comment via Reddit chat. We could not verify the details of the case.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
