Son Expecting Parents to Pay Housing Deposit With Sister's Savings Slammed
A man demanding his parents use his sister's savings on a house for him is being blasted online.
In a post to Reddit's Am I the A******? forum (also known as the "AITA" subreddit), user u/Usual-Profession6146 said that her 29-year-old daughter has lived at home since graduating from college seven years ago and has no plans to move out any time soon.
"She isn't in any rush and me and my husband don't plan on rushing her either," the poster wrote.
"With the prices of houses right now and how dangerous the world has become, me and my husband decided it was best if she stayed at home."
Their daughter pays them rent, so the poster and her husband decided to save the money and give it to her as a surprise gift when she decides to move out.
Although the offer was available, their son did not choose to move back home after college. He and his wife are currently house-hunting, but cannot find a decent property within their budget. They recently discovered the pot of money set aside for his sister and have asked the poster and her husband to give it to them instead.
"I told them no because it wasn't our money to give away and that it belonged to his sister," she continued.
"He argued that she wasn't moving out anytime soon and he and his wife needed the money now."
The poster offered to gift them some money, but a smaller amount than currently set aside for their daughter.
"My son said that if we gave him the money that me and my husband could just slowly put the money back over the next couple of years," she said. "I told him that would put us in financial strain."
He accused them of "favoring" his sister, but the poster reminded her son that he'd also had the opportunity to live at home to save money.
"He and his wife angrily left after I refused to budge on the matter," she said. "AITA for not giving away my daughter's money?"
It can be difficult to navigate both family dynamics and money matters, but your financial health is just as important as your loved one's.
"Saying 'no' when a family member asks you for money doesn't mean you don't care, it means you respect your boundaries," Taylor Kovar, CEO at Kovar Wealth Management, told Newsweek.
He recommends framing your answer in a form that shows empathy, while also reinforcing your refusal to give them money.
"For example, 'I understand you're going through a tough time, and I wish I could help financially, but I have my own obligations to meet,'" he said.
However, if a family member persists in their request or demonstrates manipulative behavior, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
"This step should be considered carefully," he said. "But remember, it's okay to choose self-preservation if a relationship becomes too toxic."
Reddit users supported the mom, voting her "NTA" or "Not the A******" for her decision.
"He's delusional," said No_Scientist7086.
"They're looking for free money and poaching any boundary they can find to get more," wrote GirlNextDoor.
"They shouldn't be house hunting if they need to steal from the sister to afford a house," commented WrathKos.
"I'm so sorry, that such an amazingly kind and generous plan on your part is being p***** on and overshadowed by your son's selfishness," wrote Various-Gap3986.
"Your son is being an entitled AH (along with his wife), especially for turning down your offer of a smaller gift directly," said Tangerine_Bouquet. "That reeks of this being his way to try to stick it to his sister."
"NTA, though I encourage you to help your daughter move out," said katg913.
"The world is the world, and she needs to learn how to be comfortable navigating through it. The whole fear narrative that you and she believe is not doing her any good."
Newsweek has asked u/Usual-Profession6146 for comment.
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