Leaving Cert 2023 diary: ‘Squeaky bum time here we come. It has all been for this and soon it will be over. On your marks, get set, write’

We’ve been through a lot over this past academic year, you and me. Thank God it’s nearly over, and, as usual in the run-up to the Leaving, the weather has been fantastic.

What a cruel trick to inflict on us snowflakes. We will be sweating like pigs in that exam hall. Squeaky bum time here we come. I thought the knowledge that this ordeal is nearly over would cancel out the nerves. But then again, thought planted a feather, and thought a chicken would grow. “Whatever happens, happens” is the mantra I’ve been repeating to myself in the throes of study.

Wistfully, that mythological jam-making course for 80 points has never looked so delicious. Let’s hope this sticky solution won’t be needed. All joking aside, I know that I am ready, I think? Maybe? Hopefully? I’m not overthinking! No, you are!

The clock has been moving so slow and yet so fast. It has all been for this, and soon it will all be over.

In recent weeks, I was trying to gather all my notes together, and of course there were some missing. I also couldn’t find my pencil case, but as luck would have it, St Anthony seems to be on call.

Unfortunately, before we thank any deities, and kneel before the sacrificial bonfire of quotes, upon quotes, upon quotes, English Paper 1 must be fought. The first of many.

I just need to keep on imagining that when I’m actually in the exam hall, I’ll have a whale of a time.

All that glorious peer pressure of my fellow students writing a thesis, using more paper than any rainforest that still exists can supply. I will just be constantly playing catch-up. I pray the candle that Granny lit kicks in.

This English Paper 1 will take all that I am; I fear I may not come out intact. I swear I left part of me in that “mock”. Maya Angelou, Michelle Obama and that comprehension aside, my hand has never been the same. The true evil here is the pace of the writing. I’m anticipating the blurring Bic pens and the cramped backs. On your marks, get set, write.

The cover pages will flip as one, while sharp intakes of breath across the exam centre are interrupted by teachers patrolling the rows. The sound of those shoes – seemingly especially bought for their ability to clack on the floor – will be our only companion. Some of us will sneak peaks at the essays, while others will be rigid in their discipline. Comprehension, tick. Question B, tick. Essay, tick. Panic for Paper 2, tick.

May the exam rise up to meet me, and may there be no examiner at my back – doesn’t sound quite right, does it?

​Moss Grace-Byrne is a student at St Mac Dara’s Community College, Templeogue, Dublin