Woman Refusing to Attend Brother's Birthday Without Dog Backed

Commenters are supporting a woman on Reddit who explained why she can't attend her brother's birthday party unless her dog comes to the celebration, too.

"I have a three-year-old German Shepherd who is the sweetest dog I've ever met. She's very cuddly and loving once she's gotten used to you. However, she was abused as a puppy and has separation anxiety," the 28-year-old woman wrote in a post on the popular r/AmITheA****** subreddit.

Because of her dog, Lou's extreme anxiety, the owner takes her wherever she goes. The last time she had been to visit her brother and his wife, her sister-in-law accidentally stepped on Lou's tail.

"Quite obviously, it hurt," the Redditor wrote. "She didn't bite or even try to do so, but she barked quite loudly before running to hide behind me."

At the time, nothing more was said about the incident and everyone moved on. But now, her brother has asked her not to bring her "aggressive" dog to his upcoming birthday party.

"When I asked for the reason, he told me my sister-in-law thought she was too aggressive to be around the guests," the Redditor wrote. "She isn't, but it's their house, their rules and I want to respect her wishes, so I simply called my usual dog sitter who told me that unfortunately, they weren't available."

As a result, the dog owner decided that she would have to miss the party for Lou's sake.

"Anyone else who has watched Lou in the past will also be at my brother's party so I don't have anyone to watch her," she explained. "I could either bring Lou and keep her on leash at all times, take Lou with me and take turns with my mum walking her around the neighborhood, or come over with Lou in the car to congratulate him and bring over his present, but leave shortly afterwards as I don't want her to be alone in the car for more than 15 minutes."

But when she explained the dilemma to her brother and his wife, it didn't go down well. The couple rejected all of the Redditor's alternatives, so she told them she would have to decline their invitation.

"He has told me he's disappointed, but especially my sister-in-law has been bombarding me with texts about how I was selfish for putting my dog before my brother, and that I was an AH (a******) of a sister to do that to him on his 40th birthday," she wrote.

Following the argument, she was unsure if she was in the wrong and took to the internet to ask if it would be wrong to skip the birthday party because she cannot bring the dog.

Enas Daeki, published author and relationship coach told Newsweek: "Family arguments about differing priorities are as natural as the changing seasons. When we hold the 'family comes first' mantra close to our hearts, there can be moments when we feel torn between personal needs and family obligations."

These disagreements, though based on love, can lead to big fallouts, and mixing personal needs and family expectations can be a serious balancing act.

"Instead of her feeling pressured to leave her dog and drop everything, wouldn't it be more heartwarming for the family to wrap her in understanding?" asked Daeki. "A heartfelt birthday wish over the phone can still carry the melody of love and celebration. After all, birthdays should be about spreading joy, not stirring up stress or guilt."

On Reddit, thousands of commenters agreed that the woman was right to put herself and her dog first.

"If they don't like any of the options you gave them, they shouldn't expect you to attend," said one commenter, while another wrote: "Let me get this straight, your sister-in-law hurt your dog. And he barked. Now she doesn't want him around as he's aggressive? I think this is just about your sister-in-law having her way, and the dog makes people happy."

"The dance of family life is a beautiful ballet of give and take, a dance that calls for mutual understanding," said Daeki. "So, what's the secret recipe for a harmonious family life? It's open communication."

Newsweek reached out to the poster u/loutheshepherd via Reddit for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.