Lucy Letby: Baby murders accused nurse 'wanted to work with children'

A nurse accused of murdering seven babies and attempting to kill 10 others at a hospital's neonatal unit said she "always wanted to work with children".

Lucy Letby is standing trial at Manchester Crown Court, facing 22 charges relating to fatal and near-fatal incidents at the Countess of Chester Hospital in 2015 and 2016.

She broke down in tears when recalling being arrested for the first time.

The 33-year-old, originally from Hereford, denies all of the charges.

During the first six months of the trial, the prosecution has alleged Ms Letby used various means to target babies, including injecting them with air and poisoning them with insulin.

Flanked by two dock officers in the witness box, Ms Letby responded to initial questions from her defence barrister, Ben Myers KC.

Family members of the alleged victims watched proceedings from the public gallery.

Ms Letby told the four men and eight women of the jury she had been the first member of her family to go to university.

She said she had chosen her qualifications in order to become a nurse.

Ms Letby added that during the period when the offences were alleged to have taken place, she had cared for hundreds of babies.

She denied harming any of them and said the allegations against her were "sickening".

"I just couldn't believe it," she told the court. "It was devastating.

"I don't think you could be accused of anything worse than that."

Ms Letby said that after she first became aware of the allegations in September 2016, she went to her GP.

"I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating," she said.

"I was started on some antidepressants, which I remain on now."

Ms Letby said that over the last few years there had been "times when I didn't want to live".

She said her "job was her life", adding that she "can't put into words" the impact the accusations have had on her.

Ms Letby broke down in tears as she recalled the first time she was awoken at 06:00 BST one day in July 2018 and arrested.

She said she was led away in her pyjamas and told she was being charged with murder and attempted murder.

"It was just the most, the scariest thing I've ever been through… it's just traumatising," she said.

Ms Letby added that she was diagnosed with PTSD following the arrests and receives psychological support.

The jury has previously been shown notes which were found at Ms Letby's home during a search by detectives.

The court has heard she thought she had written one of them when she was removed from duties at the neonatal unit.

Mr Myers asked Ms Letby why she had written "not good enough".

She replied: "I think that's the overwhelming thought and feeling I had about myself at that point."

Asked why she had written she would never have a family, she said: "At that time I couldn't see any future for myself... I didn't have any hope… the whole situation felt hopeless at times."

Quizzed why she had written "I am evil, I did this", Ms Letby said she felt she "somehow had been incompetent and done something wrong, which affected those babies".

"I felt I must be responsible in some way," she added.

The accused said she had been "really struggling" with her mental health when she wrote the note and it was a way for her to express everything she was feeling.

When asked how much she valued being a nurse, she replied: "Massively - it was everything."

She said she would "go on every course possible to be the best that I could".

Ms Letby told jurors that while the unit was "noticeably busier" between June 2015 and June 2016, and there were "a lot more" babies with "complex needs", staffing levels had not been adjusted accordingly.

She said the death of a baby on the unit affected everyone, adding there was a "noticeable change in atmosphere".

There was no formal support offered, she said, and staff just "leaned on each other".

"You have to carry on and have to be professional for the other babies you're caring for," Ms Letby added.

By Judith Moritz, North of England correspondent, BBC News

I'm one of only five reporters here in court number seven at Manchester Crown Court - because of the level of interest, most of those covering the trial are watching on a video link from an annexe in a different building.

For the last six months Lucy Letby has been sitting inside the dock, flanked by prison officers, watching proceedings from behind a glass screen.

Now she's made the short journey across the courtroom to the witness box, and it's my first chance to see her close up, from my seat nearby.

She is sitting directly opposite the jury who'll decide her fate.

After half a year's worth of prosecution evidence, this is the first chance they've had to hear from her directly.

Ms Letby also asked about her relationship with other staff members and how she spent her time outside of work.

The nurse told jurors she had "quite an active social life" and used to "regularly attend salsa classes, lunch with friends, holidays with friends and gym".

When asked about her relationship with a doctor on the unit, who cannot be named for legal reasons, she described him as a "trusted friend".

Asked if it had been anything more than a friendship, she replied "no".

A document, which summarises Ms Letby's Facebook searches between June 2015 and June 2016, was also shown to the court.

In June 2015, Ms Letby made a total of 113 Facebook searches, including for parents and staff.

In August of that year she made 175 searches.

She told the court she was "always on my phone" and would carry out searches "out of general curiosity", adding it was "just normal behaviour for me".

The trial continues.

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