Parent Rejecting Close Friend's Wedding Despite Kids Being Invited Backed
A woman has been supported online in her decision to give her friend's big-budget wedding a miss.
The woman shared in a viral social media post that her friend's destination wedding could be more hassle for her to attend than it's worth, due to the childcare issues it would create.
"My friends are having a wedding in a European country where one of their parents has a house. The house is practically in the middle of nowhere. The nearest airport is about 2 hours away. That's an hour's drive or you take a bus that comes who knows when," the woman opened up online.
"Most guests have young children, and so do our friends. One of them has young children coming from far away, but they didn't include childcare considerations in their wedding plans," she added.
The woman went on to write that her friend simply "looked confused" when asked if she had considered arranging for a local nanny to take care of the children hoping to attend the wedding with their parents.
"I don't really want to go," the woman continued, after detailing how inconvenient the trip would be for her.
"It's a hassle to get there and I don't have anyone to leave my baby with, and I am not up for leaving him with some random person he's never met," she added.
What Do The Comments Say?
The original post, which can be seen here, was made on Mumsnet on April 1 by @OrangePolentaCake. It has since been commented on by over 100 users, the majority of which have stood in support of the mother and her decision.
"I think it's the people who expect friends and family to drop everything to attend their weddings abroad who are the unreasonable ones," one user wrote, justifying the woman's choice. "I wouldn't go no matter how much it made her sulk," they added.
"Oh no sounds like a [nightmare]. I'm tired just thinking about it," another user shared in response to the lengthy post.
How To Make Time For Yourself With Kids?
While being forced to choose between attending a destination wedding in Europe or staying at home with your children is not a dilemma that parents face that often, many people with children do struggle to balance their own social life with finding affordable childcare.
Stephanie O'Dea is an author, certified life coach and podcast host who understands how having children can lead to the erosion of your personal schedule. The working mom told Newsweek how she successfully retained her identity and independence as a busy mother of three.
"I am a huge proponent of paying myself first when it comes to taking time for myself as a mom. For me, this means getting up roughly 2 hours before anyone else is awake in the house and drinking my coffee quietly while I do a bit of yoga, journaling, and meditating," O'Dea revealed.
"I have found that if I don't take the time to do this, I immediately launch into firefighter mode and am trying to feed all the people and do all the things without taking care of my own needs," she added.
The author/life coach went on to explain that taking care of her own needs and prioritizing her schedule before anyone else's leaves her calmer and more present for her children.
"This way, I am able to give without feeling depleted," she summed up.
"I would advise parents find things that they really enjoy that are all for themselves. This may mean joining a book club through your local library or attending a group exercise class," the author added.
Child psychologist Dr. Caroline Danda weighed in on how busy parents could divide their time up, and told Newsweek that it's crucial for parents to maintain an individual identity.
"That's all about pausing to consider what's important to you and then creating the time or adapting to your current situation. Be intentional, flexible, and creative," she explained.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
