Internet Slams Aunt Over Inheriting Her Father-in-Law's Money: 'So Unfair'

A post about a person whose "unashamedly nasty" aunt received a large family inheritance after their uncle died has gone viral on Mumsnet.

The post was shared on the U.K.-based online forum's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) subforum, where it had received over 500 votes at the time of writing. Under the username Peachypear10, the poster said their uncle "tragically died unexpectedly."

He didn't leave a will, "so everything goes to his wife of 6 years," including the uncle's share of the inheritance left by his late father.

According to the poster, his aunt is an "unashamedly nasty piece of work" and they were "convinced she was with him [the uncle] for his money." The user said they're "gutted" that their "horrible aunt" inherited their grandad's money.

John Sovec, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek the poster should try to focus on honoring "the memory of the loved one," rather than "stirring the pot" of any "perceived injustice."

A March 2010 study published in the European Journal of Ageing stated that "the transfer of personal possessions is influenced, among other things, by different perceptions of 'fairness'."

The study found that "motivations for giving and receiving an inheritance range from altruism to egoism" and "with every motivation, those involved act on the basis of justice: everyone wants and tries to be just; and/or tries to make others just or to impede others from being unjust."

The user in the latest post explained: "I don't care that I didn't inherit from my uncle. What bothers me is that my uncle (as well as me and my mom) each inherited £200k [around $249,200] last year after my grandad died. My uncle was quite wealthy so his inherited money was just sitting in a savings account."

According to the poster, the aunt "looked down" on their late 95-year-old grandad, who had dementia, "because he was 'simple and common' in her words."

At his funeral, she allegedly made "totally inappropriate, 'jokey' mocking remarks about his clothes and home."

The user said: "I just can't believe this is happening, it's just so unfair. Aibu to be upset and any advice to make peace with this?"

'Best to Step Away'

Sovec, a therapist based in Pasadena, California, said: "Family dynamics can be challenging to manage when things are going well but when family money gets thrown into the mix, things can quickly turn topsy-turvy."

While going through the grief of a recent loss, it can be challenging to process any feelings of disappointment, frustration or anger that may arise when an inheritance is bequeathed to someone that we feel doesn't deserve it.

But it is important to realize that "if the bequest is legally correct, it is best to step away from any form of family conflict and move on with one's life," the therapist said.

Focus on Honoring Your Loved One

"Rather than stirring the pot, find ways to come to terms with the reality of how things are," Sovec advised.

Instead of any "perceived injustice," the poster should focus on the feelings of loss and grief to honor the memory of the loved one who has passed away.

"Ultimately, it is our choice to honor that loss with love and kindness rather than getting swept up in feelings of anger or injustice," the therapist said.

'You Need to Move On'

Several users were understanding of the original poster's feelings, but advised they need to "move on."

User Honeyroar said: "Yes your grandfather left his money to who he wanted to leave it to. That's what you have to focus on...another thing to focus on is that you don't need to stay in contact with her anymore."

User iusedtobeasize8 said: "Inheritances are just are just a massive web of emotions. She inherited fair and square. Did she deserve the money? Probably not. You have to take a deep breath and let it go. Don't stress yourself with things you can't control."

IhearyouClemFandango wrote: "I understand how you feel. Focus on the fact that your grandpa got to give the money to whom he wanted, and was unaware of what she said about him etc."

Others were more diplomatic, such as Flandango who said: "Who deserves an inheritance? Why is she any more or less deserving than anyone else? It is just the luck of life."

Whatisthisanyidea noted: "Your uncle made his choice of wife and that's just the way it goes. All that is happening here is you getting wound up. Let it go and use your inheritance wisely."

AdeIe pointed out "she [the aunt] didn't inherit a penny from your Grandad, she inherited her husband's money which was his choice. You need to move on. Sorry for your loss."

Newsweek wasn't able to verify the details of this case.

Do you have a similar family dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.