Fury at Mom's Response to Daughter Asking for Dad's Birthday Present Back

Milestone birthdays are often a great time to gift something unique or memorable. One teen in particular received an expensive Tiffany necklace for her sweet 16th. It soon became a part of her everyday look, as she never took it off.

But recently, the teen's dad and step-parent realized the pendant hadn't been around her neck since the start of the year.

The dad's partner has turned to Mumsnet for advice after discovering why the jewelry is no longer being worn.

User Whybotherwithaname said: "Her [mom] has taken the necklace and wears it every day, [and] has done since the start of the year. She said she had asked for it back several times but her [mom] made a joke saying now you know how frustrating it is when you use my makeup and trainers. She says she sleeps with it on so can't just take it back and has given up."

Natural Consequences Are the Most Effective

Newsweek reached out to Simone Machell, a parenting expert and children's mindset coach, who described the story as a "difficult situation."

Machell continued: "This type of consequence, or some might even say punishment, is not going to have the impact that the mom is trying to achieve. It seems that the mom is trying to teach her daughter a lesson by taking away something that holds special meaning for her.

"However, this is the wrong approach. Mom needs to consider that this was a gift from her daughter's dad and his partner, it makes the action feel a little 'bitter.' She needs to be very careful not to cause feelings of resentment in her child, as she has essentially, in her daughter's eyes, stolen one of her treasured possessions and is using her power to keep this from her.

"This will create future trust issues in their relationship. Teens especially, need to know that their feelings and opinions are valued and that they are respected as individuals. This is also now creating a divide in the co-parenting relationship with the dad, which will feel uncomfortable for their daughter."

Machell explained natural consequences are the most effective. An example of this would be leaving the teen to wear dirty clothes if they fail to put them in the wash basket.

"For consequences to be effective, they need to be relevant to the behavior and there needs to be a time limit. My tip for the mom would be to speak to her daughter and try to come to a solution together. Children thrive on boundaries. However, to create a mutual relationship based on trust and love, there needs to be communication."

In the comments, the original poster states the teen's dad confronted the mom via text but she simply responded with "lol." However, when the teen returned home, the necklace was back in her bedroom.

'Stay Out of It'

Almost 220 people have commented on the post, which was made on April 7.

One user said: "Stay out of it. It's between mother and daughter. She's 16 she's going to realize her mother's own shortcomings by now and that's her journey to go on. Don't fan the flames just be there for her. If she really misses it then you know what to get her for her next birthday."

"Is DSD [darling step daughter] using her mum's stuff and not being careful with it / asking permission / ruining it? If so I totally get her mother's attitude. [To be honest] even if not, it seems to me that DSD needs to handle it with her mum. And you've all learned a lesson about what she takes to her mum's and what she leaves at yours," said another.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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