Woman Furious That Sibling Bought a Special Chair for 375lb Weight Slammed 

A post about a "fat" woman who was accused of "breaking" her sister's couch after sitting on it has sparked debate on Reddit.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I The A****** (AITA) subforum, user Doritos_locos_tacos2 said they and their boyfriend have been hosting "D&D" (dinner and drinks) at their house for their sister—who weighs 375 lbs, according to the poster—and brother-in-law after upgrading their apartment.

The poster said: "My sister couldn't fit into any of our chairs, so she sat on our couch. We originally didn't have a problem with this until we noticed our couch began to dive in the middle, and the bar that held the futon together underneath started to bend."

The user and their boyfriend bought the sister a $100 chair that's built for her weight. When the couple presented the chair to the sister at their next gathering, she allegedly "got mad," accusing the couple of "calling her fat."

With the sister "screaming in one ear" and the brother-in-law "talking in the other," the user said they "lost it," and told the sister that she was choosing "to stay a fat slob..."

Licensed marriage and family therapist John Sovec told Newsweek the "larger chair" could have been "a subtle dig" that later led to a "full on fatphobia" outburst against the sister.

A November 2020 study published in the peer-reviewed journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, which looked at how body size impacts our perceptions of different people, found that while "moderately thin" people are seen as "more competent," individuals who are "moderately heavy" are viewed as "more warm."

The study's findings showed that these effects occur because a thin body signals "self-control—a construct instrumental in drawing competence inferences" and a heavy body signals "emotional expressiveness—a construct that triggers inferences of warmth."

The user in the latest Reddit post said "We're not rich, so we had to dip into our savings" to pay for the sister's chair.

Moving out of "a very abusive household" at 17 years of age after graduating from high school, the poster said: "We worked minimum wage jobs, working 60+ hours a week so my [boyfriend] and I could afford rent."

They were able to start upgrading their apartment after saving money for two years and the couch they have was donated to them by the office of the building they live in.

The poster said they tried to calm the sister down, but it "just made her scream more."

The user later told the sister: "You are completely right! Your fat a** is breaking our couch. You can lose weight easily but choose to stay a fat slob. This is a problem you can literally run from, but you chose to be fat and collect taxpayers' money to stay home and eat more and gain more weight. Until you lose weight under 250 lbs. you're not allowed on our couch again."

The poster acknowledged their behavior "was a bit much," adding "I should have a better control on my feelings." The user admitted they "feel bad" for what they said, but "it felt good to finally say it."

According to the brother-in-law, the poster's "bullying" caused the sister to have "a mental breakdown." He said the poster should apologize but the user told him: "I'd apologize when she apologizes for bending our couch."

'Full-on Fatphobia'

Sovec, who is based in California, said that it is possible that the "larger chair" bought for the sister in the latest Reddit post was "a disguised bias or a subtle dig at the sister, which then transgressed into full-on fatphobia with the angry outburst."

He said this type of rage could be triggered by "a sense of defensiveness and fear that places blame on the heavier person."

Sovec noted: "We live in a world that is constantly giving us messages that we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not fit enough," and "even more dangerously pervasive—that we are not skinny enough."

He explained that being overweight is "highly stigmatized in Western culture" and when we encounter a heavier person, "our intrinsic biases can come roaring to the forefront."

Sovec said these biases can "manifest as angry comments or frustration that the overweight person is lazy, disgusting, unintelligent, unhealthy, and somehow failing to take charge and control their body size."

He said no marginalized person is going to respond well to "oppressive language" and will take this type of "attack" as "deeply personal."

He added that the best approach is one of "compassion, caring, and communication," inviting change in the relationship and "in affirmation of the size of the bodies involved in that relationship."

'Brutal but She Deserved It'

Several users on Reddit sided with the original poster, while some said the poster's words were "over the top" and not necessary.

In a comment that got 14,700 upvotes, user firetothetrees said the original poster is "NTA [not the a******]," stating "you tried to be accommodating and she [the sister] basically threw that in your face...I think your comments were brutal but she deserved it."

User sensifacient532 said: "Definitely NTA. I think it was very sweet of the OP to go out of their way to provide a comfortable option for their sister."

Numerous_Insect_2600 wrote: "I think the act of getting the chair was pretty thoughtful and they didn't try to make her feel bad about being bigger...I get why OP [original poster] snapped. When you think you've done something considerate and then have two people totally in your face freaking out it's hard not to get to that point."

But user phemailleprohblemm said: "I agree it was very thoughtful of OP to buy the sister a chair...but this is not just getting mad for someone not appreciating your efforts and your thoughtfulness...the anger went from understandable to over the top, to wanting to hurt someone...OP is not an a****** but the words were a******."

In a comment that got 10,300 upvotes, user CheeseAndPasta97 wrote: "You were NTA until your outburst. There was no need to scream about 'tax payers money' and calling her a fat slob..."

User aintshit23 said: "...there are much better ways of handling the situation. OP said it felt good to say those hurtful things, which is LITERALLY an AH [a******] move."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

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