The list is not linear and there’s no set timeline. When one loses a loved one, they may experience two stages or all five. There is no right or wrong way to mourn.

For football managers, there can often be little time to fully process one’s grief when focusing on the next training session, the next match, the next new signing.

Your world may have stopped for a time but football keeps going and the world keeps turning.

For Keith Long, last year turned out to be the most difficult of his managerial career.

In the final season of his eight-year spell at Bohemians, Long lost his mother Rosaleen in February 2022, before club stalwart and volunteer Derek Monaghan tragically died the following August.

Long was no stranger to grief. He lost his father aged 12 but it didn’t make it any easier –nothing can.

The Dubliner parted company with Bohs last August following a difficult season on and off the pitch, with the club expressing their “heartfelt gratitude” for his work at Dalymount Park.

He is keen to stress that his personal grief was in no way an excuse for his team’s performances, as the club finished the season in sixth.

Long was just as committed, just as passionate, but had to manage his own grief as well as managing his team on the pitch.

He shares a candid insight into how difficult he found 2022 on a personal level, having suffered the loss of his beloved mother one week before the beginning of the season.

“There’s no doubt that I suffered a lot,” Long, who became Waterford head coach last month, told independent.ie.

“Football has never been a job for me, it has always been a passion. Mum would have wanted me to get back to work, she watched football morning, noon and night.

“Football wasn’t a hindrance, it was a help, but nothing hurt me as much as losing my mother last year. Losing or drawing matches, of course that’s hugely disappointing, but on a personal level maybe it didn’t hurt as much as it did previously.

“I can’t tell you exactly why, and maybe that’s part of the reason you don’t necessarily get time to grieve. You are still hurting, still grieving, I think maybe that gets lost a little bit. We are all human and we all have difficulties in our lives.

“There’s not a day that goes by where you don’t stop and think, ‘what if my mum was here to see this or that’. Or just to say hello, visit her, or bring her dinner on a Sunday. You miss all those little moments.”

The 49-year-old recalled fond memories of his father Dessie taking him to local matches and Dalymount as a child, and says he was inspired by his mother’s work ethic to raise a young family after she was widowed.

“Dad loved football, as a child he brought me to Dalymount and beyond,” said Long.

“We watched local senior games around Dún Laoghaire. It was a hot-bed back then. The smell of wintergreen, players running around who looked like giants, the blood and thunder of action on the pitch, I just loved it.

“I lost my dad when I was 12, so my mum was both a mother and a father to me. She worked extremely hard all her life to make sure the family were looked after. She never complained and just got on with things.

“That work ethic and energy came from watching my mum doing what she had to do. I saw her work and saw the values she passed on to us. You are definitely a product of your environment.

“Even into my adulthood, when I moved back home from the UK, she made sure I worked hard, those working-class values that you can’t sit idle.

“To watch her fade from the woman I knew, the grandmother my children knew, was tough. It was her time.”

Long believes the demands of being a football manager can affect the grieving process and shares a striking insight into how challenging he found last season, but again stresses that his own grief was not an excuse for results or performances.

“You put on a brave face and try not to let too many people know you are hurting, but you go home at night and you have your thoughts. It was very difficult,” he said.

“The reality as a football manager is you have very little time to grieve. We felt like we underperformed last year, maybe I as a manager underperformed last year.

“Do you have the same energy, the same hurt when you lose? Maybe I was a little bit numb to a lot of things that were going on. I found it particularly challenging.

“We lost Derek Monaghan too, absolutely tragic, with a young wife and family. The team wasn’t necessarily performing on the pitch. Overall, maybe we struggled and the manager will pay the price for that.

“I reviewed last season and part of it was about understanding the grieving process, understanding what I went through. A lot of things were very difficult to deal with.

“In hindsight, maybe you would do some things slightly differently but you just plough on and do your job. We tried to do everything we could to improve and didn’t lack for any effort at all.

“Maybe it doesn’t give you enough time to actually grieve, that’s the bottom line. But I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I know I’m not the only one.”

Long departed Bohemians last August and was eager to pay tribute to the club’s players, staff and supporters, saying he and his family were deeply touched by their support.

“I was brilliantly supported by the club and I’ll never forget that,” added Long, who guided Bohs to the 2021 FAI Cup final, as well as a memorable Europa Conference League run that summer, which Long’s mother Rosaleen attended at Lansdowne Road.

“The club rallied around me. There were hundreds of messages of condolence from Bohs supporters, and cards to the house.

“It’s just that in your heart and soul, maybe the loss knocks your spirit a little bit. Maybe you are reeling internally, suffering. You try to block it from everybody, but it’s just the nature of grieving a loved one.

“Can you ever deal with the death of a loved one, someone who has moulded you all your life? I’m not sure whether you can or not!”

The pain of losing a parent never leaves you and some days can be easier than others.

Long shared one ritual which helped him while he was in charge at Bohemians, and says he is enjoying life at Waterford now.

“Before every (Bohs) match, I would look up to the spire of St Peter’s church from the Dalymount dugout and say a little prayer before kick-off, asking Dad to look after the team. It was a little ritual I had,” he added.

“We all have a faith of some sort. I believe my parents are with me and looking after me. That’s what I hold on to. I go to the grave, that gets me by. I visit my parents, speak to them and understand that they’re not too far away.

“You have to get on with it, look after your family and do your job. I have a new job with Waterford now which is all guns blazing, going into a new club with a freshness and lots of ideas.”

For now, Long’s focus will be on taking Waterford back to the Premier Division, but his mind is never too far away from his beloved parents.

Two losses at two very different stages of his life, but each equally as painful.

One doesn’t get over losing a loved one, you just learn how to carry it. One day at a time.