Woman Refusing to Help Twin Who Disowned Her Years Ago Backed: 'Dirty Money'

A woman who was disowned by her twin sister over her choice of career has had the last laugh after her cash-strapped sibling got in touch to ask for help.

In a post shared to Reddit under the handle Weird-Marzipan-7739, the woman explained how her sister, who is religious, cut off all contact after she began working as a camgirl. The sister said the poster would be a "bad influence" on her three young children.

But, with debts piling up, the estranged sibling got in touch to ask for help and was given the cold shoulder. The woman wrote that she told her twin sister: "Disowning your family is a permanent decision, and I wouldn't want you having money from a sinful source."

A blonde woman and a poor family.
Stock images of a woman turning someone away at the door and (right) of a mother and daughter who's clutching a teddy bear. A woman on Reddit has been applauded for refusing to help her sibling financially. JackF/shironosov/Getty

Family estrangement is an all-too-painful reality for a significant proportion of the U.S. public. Sociologist Karl Pillemer conducted a national survey on the topic for his book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them. According to an interview with The New York Times, Pillemer estimates around 1 out of 4 U.S. adults live with some kind of family estrangement.

Family estrangement can often involve the severing of ties to a parent. However, in the case, it involved not just a sibling but a twin sister. Writing in the post, the woman explained what hurt most was that she had always kept quiet about her job. The poster added that her sister's actions meant she was "denied a relationship" with her nieces and nephews.

The two sisters went years without speaking until her sibling got in touch and "begged" to borrow money from her, having fallen into a desperate situation. "She's a single mom and her youngest child has cancer," the woman explained. "The bills have gone through the roof now and her landlord is threatening to begin the eviction process."

Despite these grim circumstances, the woman told her twin: "You do realize this money would come from my camming job right? The one you estranged with me over and wouldn't let me have a relationship with your kids?"

Her sister rebuffed the suggestion she would be accepting "dirty money." She told her: "I don't need this right now. I'm desperate and need help, he's your nephew." Yet her plea still fell on deaf ears, with the poster telling her twin that "you disowned me as your sister, and since you're not my sister he can't be my nephew."

But while it may be a tough stance, for many, it was one she was within her rights to take. Psychotherapist and author John Sovec told Newsweek: "The term 'blood is thicker than water' is often thrown about as a reason that we should always be there to support our family members when times get tough. Oftentimes, though, this same respect is not paid to people who may live outside the accepted norms of behavior for that family unit.

"Family principles and belief systems can come into play, and people will be disowned by their family as a means of disapproval," Sovec added. "Those dismissals can often be harsh and hurtful, filled with angry words and ultimatums."

Sovec said that it was important to keep in mind the emotional and mental impact being disowned would have had on the woman at the center of the Reddit post. "This disapproval can initiate a cascade of self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression, and even thoughts of suicide because of the extreme reaction from the family," Sovec added.

"Ultimately, it is OK to move on from painful family dynamics and make choices that feel healthy and aligned with the excommunicated person's values and sense of identity."

Others on social media, meanwhile, wrote that the sibling may only be fishing for money rather than any real reconciliation. One Reddit user posted: "She's only come to you because she's desperate, I doubt she'd maintain the relationship once she's got your money."

A second commented: "If her son wasn't sick you still wouldn't be hearing from her. You aren't a money tap."

A third user added: "If you do decide you want to help your nephew, then any and all financial help needs to go directly to those who need to be paid. None of the money should go through your sister's righteous hands."

Newsweek reached out to u/Weird-Marzipan-7739 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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