The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
My goal was to have $10,000 saved by the end of 2022. I'm already at $8.32.
— November 25th 💛 (@Jameca2011) October 30, 2022
Parents be like, “Here’s 4 boxes of your old elementary school work you left at the house.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 1, 2022
yeah soda is bad for you but not diet coke that's different
— claritin girl (seasonal) (@cozybab3) October 31, 2022
Told my roommate that megamillions was up to $825 million and she said, “yeah but that’s only $400 million after taxes”. Our kitchen is in our living room.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) October 29, 2022
I love that thing girls do when we give each other disclaimers before hanging out like “ok jsyk my hair is NOT clean” “that’s fine I look like hot garbage!!” it’s so funny why do we do that
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 3, 2022
love is blind asks the question: if you constantly feed 25yos alcohol and sleep deprive them, will they get married to someone they barely know?
— ashley ray LIVE (@theashleyray) November 3, 2022
the kids are on are tiktok referring to a mental breakdown as a "menty b," if that's any indication about how gen z is doing
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) October 30, 2022
Netflix making a TV show about blockbuster is straight up bullying. It’s like if a meteor directed Jurassic Park.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) November 3, 2022
the Brooklyn Public Library is doing a countdown of its most borrowed books of all time and it's hilarious because it's all like classic literature juxtaposed with things children think are awesome pic.twitter.com/2NB0WiE20M
— Lindsay Zoladz (@lindsayzoladz) November 1, 2022
Every day i show my boyfriend a dog from Instagram and say “if we don’t get this dog I’ll die” and every day he just says “ok” and calls my bluff. One day I will die and he will see
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 1, 2022
podcaster 40 mins into an ep: okay, so let’s just dive right in
— Madeleine Aggeler (@mmaggeler) November 2, 2022
remembering the first time I got pulled over the officer asked for my registration nd I just handed him all the papers in my glove box and told him to pick cause idk what it looked like lol
— Darlaa⚡️ (@darlaa_13) November 3, 2022
People are like "ugh I'm leaving Twitter" but I just saw a viral thread where someone argued it's classist to know how to boil an egg. You can't put a price on this, you'll have to drag me out
— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) November 1, 2022
Getting a man to do something I’m perfectly capable of doing. pic.twitter.com/SfnKoN2ozD
— Invis🍒 (@lilxinvis) October 28, 2022
27 years old and blowing my nose w toilet paper bc i do not own a box of tissues… when my mom was my age she owned like at least five boxes of tissues and also a house
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) November 1, 2022
high school crushes were crazy because why was i running around the whole school to get a glimpse of someone
— Cassie (@cassiee1919) November 2, 2022
All diamonds. Every card. https://t.co/mvi8F7sisn
— violet (@violet_irene) October 31, 2022
in protest of elon buying twitter i’ve been scaling back the quality of my tweets. if you’ve seen one and thought “hm kinda sucks” just know i am doing activism
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) October 30, 2022
Having a partner who doesn’t have anxiety is wild. They’re just… sitting there, maybe having a snack… not worried at all
— Meredith Ireland (@MeredithIreland) October 31, 2022
told a girl at a party this weekend that I'm 31 and she spent 2 minutes telling me how "that's actually okay" and how I'm "a queen"
— Esther Fallick (@estherfallick) October 31, 2022
The rudest person you have ever met is in school to be a nurse right now
— sansa stark defense attorney (@jaxajueny) November 2, 2022
