‘Bharat chhodo’, ‘Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi’ & ‘applied blunderology’

KOCHI: All muck and no mirth makes politics a dull affair. Gaffes, bloopers and slips of the tongue are essential garnishes that spice up the rhetorical political discourse. A recent laugh riot was Congress MP Kodikunnil Suresh allegedly thundering: “Rahul Gandhi... Bharat chhodo... Rahul Gandhi chhodo chhodo....” 

It could have been an auditory illusion or a frenzied slip of the tongue. The clippings, however, went viral. And people, across party lines, had a good laugh. Just as that one settled down, another Congress leader in Karnataka was caught in an awkward situation when he was suddenly asked to address a ‘Bharat Jodo’ gathering. “Jodo Bharat Mata ki,” he roared, leaving his colleagues on the dais flummoxed. 

Next, the erudite Shashi Tharoor, who’s usually quite wonderful with his words, stirred up a “troll storm” with a ‘blunderful’ map of India in his Congress presidential election manifesto. Some parts of Jammu & Kashmir were missing, that’s all! 

Along with an unconditional apology, he added: “No one does such things on purpose.” Yeah, we get it, Shashi. Incidentally, the BJP IT cell is missing Rahul Gandhi gaffes this time around. Probably because they are, instead, getting bombarded with pics of the “prince” having a tea break, hugging fans, munching a piece of sugar cane and delivering a speech in the rain. Not much scope for the nasty ‘Pappu jokes’.  

Rahul’s last hit was the “atta at Rs 40 per litre”. Imran Khan, too, picked it up in Pakistan as he lamented that the price of atta had “crossed more than 100 rupees per litre in Karachi”. “Great minds think alike,” quipped a tweeter. 

Though not a gaffe, per se, Rahul gave fans as well as critics the “uh?” moment, when asked about the Adani group’s mega-investment in Congress-ruled Rajasthan.

Rajasthan Chief Minister Ashok Gehlot had said: “Be it Gautam Adani or any Adani, or Ambani or Amit Shah’s son Jay Shah, we will welcome all of them here. We want employment, we want investment.” Perceived to be a relentless critic of the Ambani-Adani duo, Rahul said: “Mr Adani has committed Rs 60,000 crore to Rajasthan. No chief minister can refuse such an offer. In fact, it would not be correct for a chief minister to refuse such an offer.” Well... 

Well, as Shashi said, bloopers are not done on purpose; CPM leader E P Jayarajan would vouch for that. His goof-up while condoling boxing legend Muhammad Ali’s passing away in 2016 remains an all-time classic.  

“I came to know only now that Muhammad Ali had died in America. Ali was a prominent personality in Kerala’s sports scenario,” he told a news channel. 

“He had won several gold medals for Kerala and had taken our state’s fame sky-high... I wish to convey Kerala’s sorrow... the sorrow of the state’s sports lovers.”

A real ouch moment for a sports minister! Later, Jayarajan clarified that he had “thought it was some veteran sportsperson of Kerala who had passed away”.

Kerala’s current general education minister, too, is known for slip-ups and faux pas. His remark on “35 states of India” reopening schools after the Covid crisis had become a national puzzle last year. 
Another minister, Saji Cherian, lost his chair over, in CPM’s words, a “slip of the tongue” while reportedly ranting against the Constitution. 

This funny trap spares none. Not even the master orator Narendra Modi, whose love for Lalettan left people stunned on more than one occasion. The prime minister has been caught twice referring to the Father of the Nation as “Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi”. 

Then, of course, his hypothesis on clouds helping fighter jets avoid radar detection left many researchers scratching their heads. Modi’s “Aditya Yoginath” slip was another gem that triggered a meme fest during his super-charged Ram Janmabhoomi speech in 2020.

In the US, currently, the prez and vice-prez are getting panned for their habitual gaffes. “Joe Biden and Kamala Harris compete for ‘biggest gaffe’ of the week,” read a Sky News headline. 

At a recent White House gathering, Joe called out for a lawmaker, Jackie Walorski, who had died in a car crash a month ago. “Jackie, are you here? Where’s Jackie?” the president enquired, fuelling claims that he was senile. 

Kamala looked well-poised in suit and shades as she recently stood at the demilitarised zone between South and North Korea. And then she asserted: “The United States shares a very important relationship, which is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea.” LOL!

Donald Trump is now making Joe-Kamala gaffes a political weapon, seriously. It’s hard to resist the urge to browse YouTube for Trump’s “Vivekamundan” and “Cheewalah” remix tracks.

The cake, however, would go to former US president George H.W. Bush, who once said: “For 7.5 years, I have worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex... uh...setbacks.”

Okay, time for me to go do more research on “applied blunderology”. Go Google.   

Wish you a mirthful week ahead, signing off with these findings published in Psychology Today: “For every 1,000 words spoken, we make one or two errors. Considering that the average pace of speech is 150 words a minute, a slip is bound to occur about once every seven minutes of continuous talk. Each day, most of us make somewhere between 7 and 22 verbal slips.”

Tongue in cheek: “Humorous or intended as a joke, though seeming or appearing to be serious. Hyphenated as “tongue-in-cheek” if used before a noun.”

Slip of the tongue: “An error in speaking in which a word is pronounced incorrectly, or in which the speaker says something unintentionally.”

Bite one’s tongue: “To stop oneself from saying something (often something potentially inappropriate, hurtful, or offensive).” 

Has the cat got your tongue?: “A humorous question directed at one who is not speaking very much or at all.”

Barbed tongue: “A tendency to speak in a malicious or highly critical manner.”

Silver tongue: “Oratory skills that are particularly eloquent, artful, seductive, or persuasive.” 

Give a tongue-lashing: “To give one a harsh verbal reprimand.”

Honey-tongued devil: “A seductively persuasive but duplicitously or deceitfully malicious person.”

With (a) forked tongue: “Duplicitously or beguilingly; untruthfully.” 

The tongue wounds more than a lance: “Harsh words or insults can cause one more pain than physical blows.” 

Keep a civil tongue: “To speak kindly and politely; to refrain from using harsh, insolent, or rude language.”

A still tongue makes a wise head: (Proverb)  - “It is much wiser to speak only when it is appropriate or after one has thought carefully about what one wants or needs to say.”

KOCHI: All muck and no mirth makes politics a dull affair. Gaffes, bloopers and slips of the tongue are essential garnishes that spice up the rhetorical political discourse. A recent laugh riot was Congress MP Kodikunnil Suresh allegedly thundering: “Rahul Gandhi... Bharat chhodo... Rahul Gandhi chhodo chhodo....”  It could have been an auditory illusion or a frenzied slip of the tongue. The clippings, however, went viral. And people, across party lines, had a good laugh. Just as that one settled down, another Congress leader in Karnataka was caught in an awkward situation when he was suddenly asked to address a ‘Bharat Jodo’ gathering. “Jodo Bharat Mata ki,” he roared, leaving his colleagues on the dais flummoxed.  Next, the erudite Shashi Tharoor, who’s usually quite wonderful with his words, stirred up a “troll storm” with a ‘blunderful’ map of India in his Congress presidential election manifesto. Some parts of Jammu & Kashmir were missing, that’s all!  Along with an unconditional apology, he added: “No one does such things on purpose.” Yeah, we get it, Shashi. Incidentally, the BJP IT cell is missing Rahul Gandhi gaffes this time around. Probably because they are, instead, getting bombarded with pics of the “prince” having a tea break, hugging fans, munching a piece of sugar cane and delivering a speech in the rain. Not much scope for the nasty ‘Pappu jokes’.   Rahul’s last hit was the “atta at Rs 40 per litre”. Imran Khan, too, picked it up in Pakistan as he lamented that the price of atta had “crossed more than 100 rupees per litre in Karachi”. “Great minds think alike,” quipped a tweeter.  Though not a gaffe, per se, Rahul gave fans as well as critics the “uh?” moment, when asked about the Adani group’s mega-investment in Congress-ruled Rajasthan. Rajasthan Chief Minister Ashok Gehlot had said: “Be it Gautam Adani or any Adani, or Ambani or Amit Shah’s son Jay Shah, we will welcome all of them here. We want employment, we want investment.” Perceived to be a relentless critic of the Ambani-Adani duo, Rahul said: “Mr Adani has committed Rs 60,000 crore to Rajasthan. No chief minister can refuse such an offer. In fact, it would not be correct for a chief minister to refuse such an offer.” Well...  Well, as Shashi said, bloopers are not done on purpose; CPM leader E P Jayarajan would vouch for that. His goof-up while condoling boxing legend Muhammad Ali’s passing away in 2016 remains an all-time classic.   “I came to know only now that Muhammad Ali had died in America. Ali was a prominent personality in Kerala’s sports scenario,” he told a news channel.  “He had won several gold medals for Kerala and had taken our state’s fame sky-high... I wish to convey Kerala’s sorrow... the sorrow of the state’s sports lovers.” A real ouch moment for a sports minister! Later, Jayarajan clarified that he had “thought it was some veteran sportsperson of Kerala who had passed away”. Kerala’s current general education minister, too, is known for slip-ups and faux pas. His remark on “35 states of India” reopening schools after the Covid crisis had become a national puzzle last year.  Another minister, Saji Cherian, lost his chair over, in CPM’s words, a “slip of the tongue” while reportedly ranting against the Constitution.  This funny trap spares none. Not even the master orator Narendra Modi, whose love for Lalettan left people stunned on more than one occasion. The prime minister has been caught twice referring to the Father of the Nation as “Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi”.  Then, of course, his hypothesis on clouds helping fighter jets avoid radar detection left many researchers scratching their heads. Modi’s “Aditya Yoginath” slip was another gem that triggered a meme fest during his super-charged Ram Janmabhoomi speech in 2020. In the US, currently, the prez and vice-prez are getting panned for their habitual gaffes. “Joe Biden and Kamala Harris compete for ‘biggest gaffe’ of the week,” read a Sky News headline.  At a recent White House gathering, Joe called out for a lawmaker, Jackie Walorski, who had died in a car crash a month ago. “Jackie, are you here? Where’s Jackie?” the president enquired, fuelling claims that he was senile.  Kamala looked well-poised in suit and shades as she recently stood at the demilitarised zone between South and North Korea. And then she asserted: “The United States shares a very important relationship, which is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea.” LOL! Donald Trump is now making Joe-Kamala gaffes a political weapon, seriously. It’s hard to resist the urge to browse YouTube for Trump’s “Vivekamundan” and “Cheewalah” remix tracks. The cake, however, would go to former US president George H.W. Bush, who once said: “For 7.5 years, I have worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex... uh...setbacks.” Okay, time for me to go do more research on “applied blunderology”. Go Google.    Wish you a mirthful week ahead, signing off with these findings published in Psychology Today: “For every 1,000 words spoken, we make one or two errors. Considering that the average pace of speech is 150 words a minute, a slip is bound to occur about once every seven minutes of continuous talk. Each day, most of us make somewhere between 7 and 22 verbal slips.” Tongue in cheek: “Humorous or intended as a joke, though seeming or appearing to be serious. Hyphenated as “tongue-in-cheek” if used before a noun.” Slip of the tongue: “An error in speaking in which a word is pronounced incorrectly, or in which the speaker says something unintentionally.” Bite one’s tongue: “To stop oneself from saying something (often something potentially inappropriate, hurtful, or offensive).”  Has the cat got your tongue?: “A humorous question directed at one who is not speaking very much or at all.” Barbed tongue: “A tendency to speak in a malicious or highly critical manner.” Silver tongue: “Oratory skills that are particularly eloquent, artful, seductive, or persuasive.”  Give a tongue-lashing: “To give one a harsh verbal reprimand.” Honey-tongued devil: “A seductively persuasive but duplicitously or deceitfully malicious person.” With (a) forked tongue: “Duplicitously or beguilingly; untruthfully.”  The tongue wounds more than a lance: “Harsh words or insults can cause one more pain than physical blows.”  Keep a civil tongue: “To speak kindly and politely; to refrain from using harsh, insolent, or rude language.” A still tongue makes a wise head: (Proverb)  - “It is much wiser to speak only when it is appropriate or after one has thought carefully about what one wants or needs to say.”