How to make a movie that offends nobody

BENGALURU: There are some films that stay within you, and grow like a baby inside you. Forrest Gump is that movie for me. Kids of today might not be aware of what a monumental year 1994 was for Hollywood. Most of our modern iconic films - Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, The Mask - were all released in the same year. But unlike the other films, Forrest Gump requires no great knowledge of screenwriting or filmmaking to appreciate. It was the story of a simple, bumbling man who unwittingly alters the course of America’s history through his good nature and simplicity.

I watched it many years later, on DVD. I had no knowledge of its iconic status and simply selected it among the many films on the pirated disc. I watched the film all through the night and had tears in my eyes when it concluded. Since then, Forrest Gump has been my go-to film when my mood needs upliftment. It’s a film I have revisited countless times and can recite the dialogues verbatim.

It was a no-brainer then, that when Aamir Khan decided to remake the film, I would go and watch it. With our nation’s colourful history, it could have been an ideal setting for a remake. Despite the calls to boycott the film, I did the very antinational act of buying tickets to the movie. I was fully prepared to hate the movie, but to my surprise, I found myself tearing up in places. While Aamir Khan’s wide-eyed acting was too reminiscent of PK and 3 Idiots to be taken seriously, the film wasn’t half as bad as people claimed it was.

However, even a non-passionate fan of Forrest Gump would notice a few things about the remake. For one, Laal Singh Chaddha is a mere spectator of the events around him. Unlike the original, where Forrest is a catalyst for the major incidents in his country’s history. Also, no recent events were included in the film so as to avoid controversy or comment on the government in power. And a five-minute disclaimer at the beginning of the film that could have easily been used to establish a character introduction.

It’s not hard to sympathise with the makers of the film. They played safe because the film was already drowned in the ‘boycott’ fiasco. I am not a huge fan of boycotts (My favourite Boycott is Sir Geoffrey Boycott!) and find it absurd that we are all up in arms against movies. We went from boycotting British goods to boycotting movies because an actor said something years ago. As the Indian middle class got more and more political, movies have become the scapegoat for outrage. Ironically, we hardly ever make hard-hitting political movies. Most of our movies are mindless comedies or epic revenge sagas. But scroll through your family WhatsApp group, and you’ll find an uncle coming up with a new reason to outrage every day.

This is why Laal Singh Chaddha chose to play safe. And a film without risks is a soap opera. They couldn’t offend any religion, or state, its people, and their culture. Language is a touchy topic too, and buses have been burnt in recent times over signboards. Culture is another touchy topic. The country cannot be shown in a bad light, and neither can the armed forces be criticised in any way. Which leaves us with the question – how does one make a movie without offending anybody?

And then, I found my answer. The only way to make a movie without offending anybody – is to not make a movie in the first place!