Dr Charles talked giving absent fathers a second chance. (Photo: Twitter/@DrDanielsJr)“Every dad is different. Every kid is different. Every story is different. But there are a few things we do every time. We are loving our fathers and the fatherless back to life. We hug our fathers. We celebrate them on birthdays and holidays with a call to let them know how much we appreciate them,” Dr Charles C Daniels, Jr said at a recent TED talk as he made an attempt to empower fathers to be more present so they forgive their own shortcomings and learn how to reconnect with their kids.
The co-founder and CEO of Fathers’ UpLift, Dr Charles, was raised without a father. Despite his mother’s love, he felt remorse, humiliation, and embarrassment as a result of abandonment, revealed. Eventually, he realised that his broken relationship with his father was at the root of his despair and this could be true for so many out there.
He said, “There may be many reasons that keep fathers separated from their children. However, the reasons that don’t get talked about enough are the ones that increase the problem. Those are the emotions that are not talked about. They are about shame, guilt, regret, or embarrassment and these emotions can cause ruin beyond that of absence.”
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In helping fathers to love, forgive and heal, he feels that they learn to find the beauty in the pain they’ve experienced. “Now one might ask, how can pain be beautiful?” he questioned the audience and moved on to make sense of how pain gives a person, a father – character, strength, and courage.
“The warm embrace with your child on the other side of the mystery, that is beauty,” he added.
Dr Charles admitted that he would not be where he is today if it weren’t for his supportive family and is more than thankful for the reassurance they have constantly given through both sweet and bitter times. ”Fathers that have been absent, regardless of their past mistakes, deserve a lifeline,” he told the audience as he urged them to take some time and think about the people they love and care for.
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