‘I had spoken in the heat of the moment’

BENGALURU: I couldn’t  concentrate  on  work.  Sayali  needn’t  have  taken  Didi’s words to heart. It’s not like I ever said anything to her. Did  she  think  that  I  had  prompted  my  sister  to  speak?  It’s  possible. But then, she should have sought a clarification from me,  which  she  didn’t.  That’s  carrying self-respect  and  pride  too far. Should I have met her and explained things? The problem would have been solved then and there.

Problem?  Didi must have  been  bothered  about  these  questions. But shouldn’t she have asked me for the explanation? Sayali’s proposal had, in fact, been brought by Didi’s husband, my  brother-in-law.  I’d  liked  her  the  moment  I  saw  her.  We  began meeting and going out together. Didi, too, had approved of Sayali. But later, when she’d asked around, she came to know about the ‘affair’ from her college days.
‘Didi,  shouldn’t  you  have  checked  with  me  before  asking  her? I knew about it,’ I told my sister. ‘You  were  besotted  by  her.  Would  you  have  confronted  her?’

‘So, you decided?’
‘Yes. I asked her directly if my brother deserved damaged goods!’ I  felt  as  if  I  had  been  stabbed  in  the  heart.  I  could  only  imagine what poor Sayali must have experienced. If only Didi had told me that she was going to speak with her.

At first, I didn’t even realise that Sayali was avoiding me. She didn’t come to meet me at our usual place. She didn’t take my calls. Worried, I called her manager. That was when I got the news. ‘She says that you guys have broken up.’

Didi phoned to tell me, ‘Forget about her now. I will bring better  proposals  for  you,  girls  more  beautiful  than  her.  Don’t  worry.’ Notwithstanding  the  fact  that  she  was  my  elder  sister,  I  exploded,  ‘Be  careful,  Didi.  You  misjudged  Sayali.  And  how  much  do  you  actually  know  me?  Do  you  know  about  my  friendship  with  Sandra  in college? Were  you okay  with  that?  
Several  times  when  the  two  of  us  were  alone,  we  came  pretty  close to each other. Despite
suspecting it, why didn’t you stop me?’

‘But, you’re a man ...’
‘Shut up, Didi! If a guy does it, it’s a conquest. But in the case of a girl it’s a scandal? Get this, Didi, I will not marry any girl but Sayali. I will remain a bachelor. And further, from this day on, you will no longer be a part of my life!’ Saying this, I disconnected the call. I had spoken in the heat of the moment, but it had come from my heart. I was furious with my sister.

Five months had gone by since then. I was trying to forget Sayali.  But  the  unrelenting  memories,  
it seems, were  just  waiting for an excuse to resurface.
(Excerpted from The Wait by Damodar Mauzo published by Penguin Random House)