This is what makes a good leader

Under their breath, I could hear some references to the Ukrainian leader but, for the record, when it was time to take a call for the whole house, the consensus was that if we have to choose between the two, there is no one.

The officers from the island nation were as emotional as the blue sea that surrounds their country. And equally deep. I asked, “Why do you say so?” They again chose silence. Maybe they were expecting the teacher in me to answer this, maybe they were waiting for me to recall stories of the Kalinga war and Emperor Ashoka and his Dhamma, advocating peace. I am not sure. What I am sure of is how few in the room saw in either of the two — the attacked and the attacker — an exemplary model of leadership.

In War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy writes that the “strongest of all warriors” are time and patience. As we mark exactly two years of the lockdown, we know that these two warriors were the only ones fighting on our side as we remained locked down in our homes. And yet, for all the talk of a new normal, of a world knit together by technology, where truth and entertainment stream to unite us all, a large country still thought of the old means of achieving its devastating end: War. The death of innocent children, women and men and the devastation of cities and destruction of lives so beautifully constructed with time and patience. Another large country found an opportunity to sell and supply arms. Where was the sensitivity that emerged from battling a pandemic? Forget that; it was back to the stone age where might is right.

Perhaps that’s why my audience wasn’t sure of who is a good leader. Because even the one who was attacked showed a very self-promotional idea of leadership, but more about that later.

Aristotle has an answer: A good leader is nobody but a follower and following is nothing but understanding the needs and wants of the people. Today, “to follow” means Meta and blue ticks. But this is purely self-referential. “I have so many followers”: This becomes the end-all and be-all. Who these followers are, what they want, what they say — that’s not my problem. So the Ukrainian leader’s televised bravery helped him become a living-room hero, while his country and citizens bore the pain.

No wonder, Aristotle concludes that it’s a good follower who qualifies as a good leader.

In other words, when everyone is fighting to mark their own space, flaunt their number of followers, whether on social media or the Election Commission dashboard, can we find a leader who follows the people, tracks their tears, defeats, struggles, fears? Who sees people falling into a sewer or waiting for a job interview or crying over injustice and knows what they want from their leader? A person who promotes peace rather than war, healing rather than anger? In other words, a good leader is, first of all, a good person. For Aristotle, a good person acts and lives their virtues. People are led only by virtue, not by persuasion or rhetoric or self-praise or fear. A good leader communicates her values to citizens, that’s why parents and teachers are our first leaders. They are the most powerful communicators of the principles of leadership because a child, whether at home or in class, needs to be cared for, and then taught. Good parenting or teaching is about being sensitive to the child’s needs and aspirations.

So why not construct, in the safety and warmth of the home and the school, our heroes with ethics, human values, and later, with competencies and efficiencies? For, nothing is more powerful, emotionally and intellectually, than qualifying as a good human being in the eyes of our parents and teachers. Extending this to politics and the public space, a good leader is one who listens to and addresses the questions of the most vulnerable — the children among his followers. Who uses power as a tool for the empowerment of the unheard and unseen, celebrates courage and compassion, chooses peace over war, doesn’t stoke in one group of people fears about another. A good leader puts “what am I” above “who am I”, where being good is the one and only benchmark of leadership.

No wonder my friends from that beautiful island country found it hard to choose a leader from among those in the news.

(The writer is the author of Being Good, Aaiye, Insaan Banaen and Ethikos: Stories Searching Happiness. He teaches and trains courses on ethics, values and behaviour)