“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” These words are from the American psychologist Daniel Goleman, who has written and spoken extensively about emotional intelligence (EI).
EI is very often the fulcrum on which the character of a person is built. A high intelligence quotient (IQ) is no guarantee to happiness, mental stability or physical and mental wellbeing, whereas a high EI usually denotes great levels of self-awareness, ability to recognise and manage emotions not only in oneself but also in others and take one’s decisions based on this awareness.
Two standout words from Goleman’s above-quoted text are “self-awareness” and “empathy”. We have often seen that dolphins and elephants show some form of self-awareness and empathy. They generally live in large family groups, bond with each other, mourn the death of their young ones and display a wide range of emotions, which is why they are credited with a high EI. I remember walking along with the forest rangers in the jungles of Congo and the rangers greeting the huge gorillas by beating their chests to show that they were there as friends and the gorillas reciprocating the same with unbridled enthusiasm.
It was as if the decks had been cleared for an interaction based on understanding — key to any form of social interaction!
The pandemic has resulted in deaths, loss of jobs, closing down of businesses and issues such as depression, anxiety, fear and panic. A close-knit family structure designed to increase one’s EI can be very useful during stressful times.
Love, affection and understanding within a family fosters and promotes EI and creates an enabling environment to tide over the myriad issues associated with the pandemic. The health requirements have transformed our lives in unimaginable ways. Long hours of masking, off-site rather than on-site meetings, entire offices being run from home, online teaching and learning, deferred visits to doctors, dentists and even barbers and being closeted in our homes for days and months together require the comfort and soothing presence and support of one’s family or close friends.
Essential quality
There are companies these days which hire people on the basis of their EI. People with a high EI are better team men and women, they value relationships, they are more liked and adaptable and take criticism better than those with lower EIs. Unlike IQ which is more inherent, EI can be cultivated and developed. Self-awareness, self-evaluation and taking responsibility for one’s actions and understanding another's situation are key to developing one’s EI.
While high grades and skill sets are definitely important, the importance of someone with a high EI can in no way be overemphasised. A high EI is a huge soft skill to have and its value is being increasingly recognised in all walks of life today!
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