It’s time for love and its magic to get a fair chance

BENGALURU: Love can work magic, miracles and wonders. If it works for one, it can work for all. On December 15, I lost a dear cousin, Gautam, aged 54. He was a much-loved, affectionate person on whom everyone among family and friends doted – and that worked wonders on him.

He was born with Down syndrome, a congenital condition in which the cell has 24 pairs of chromosomes instead of the normal 23 that exist in human cells. A chromosome is a structure made up of proteins and DNA organised into genes and found inside the cell nucleus.

The additional pair of chromosomes in Down syndrome delays intellectual and physical development. Individuals who have the genetic condition have distinct physical characteristics, which include a flat forehead, short neck, a protruding lower lip and poor muscle development. They pick up new skills all their lives, although it takes them longer to achieve them, besides having problems in developing social skills.

Decades ago, there was very little understanding of how to manage people with this condition. People assumed it to be a neurotic problem and gave no second thoughts of institutionalising them. Given the poor care or therapy existing then, many who were institutionalised did not survive long.

Several studies have indicated that the life expectancy of Down syndrome individuals was just 10 in 1960. It significantly increased to 47 in 2007, and is currently 70 in India. It is 77 in China, 78 in USA, 81 in the UK and 82 in Canada.

Experts attribute this remarkable extension of life expectancy of Down syndrome individuals to increased love and care by family members, relatives and friends, besides better therapeutic schedules.

Gautam had a way with people. He would almost instantly endear himself with them - even strangers. I remember, in 1985, when he was apprenticing at a workshop next to my college, he often entered our campus during lunch breaks and head straight to the 

canteen — not to eat, but to make friends. I was wary of this at first, fearing that students would harass my cousin because of his distinct appearance and behaviour. But I was pleasantly surprised to find many of them developing such attachment with him that they enquired about him if he did not appear for days.

When he passed away last week, a sister-in-law, who had developed an emotional bond with him, wrote a single sentence: “Gautam has left us and gone; leaving behind beautiful memories!”

I recently watched a 2019 film, Ahaan, directed by Nikhil Pherwani, which portrays a bond between a man with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) jilted by his wife, and who finds common ground and camaraderie with his neighbour, a young man with Down syndrome. The chemistry between the two sees the man and wife coming together in the end even as the film brings out the sheer innocence and genuineness of a Down syndrome individual, and how the couple’s love for him blooms.  

Down syndrome is a genetic condition, but those with it are just as human as those who are labelled “normal”. If love and care could play — and is still playing — a magical role in improving lives of people with Down syndrome, will it not do the same to all of humanity?

Instead, the “normal” are engaged in riding the hate waves of linguistic, communal, casteist and nationalistic flavours, and nurture a high degree of pride in that. Unfortunately, such pride — which only sees damage and destruction, as we witness at present — fills up the mental spaces, leaving no scope for love to flourish in our mind. Isn’t it time to give love a fair chance?