16 People With Disabilities Shared How They Get Treated Differently At Work, And Their Stories Are Both Disturbing And Eye-Opening
According to the CDC, one in four American adults live with a disability. This includes a wide range of conditions that may be visible or invisible.
But unfortunately, even though disabilities are common, not every workplace is great at understanding disability and offering reasonable accommodations. A glaringly awful example of this comes from an Ask a Manager letter posted this week, in which an HR leader refused to believe that an employee's seizure alert dog was actually in the office to perform an essential service.
To shed more light on what it's really like to have a disability in the workplace, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their experiences. Here are their stories:
1."I've dealt with an eating disorder for decades. I now eat a special diet to help with PCOS, and work is a minefield. You can't refuse a donut without people pressuring you, telling you to treat yourself, saying, 'What's the big deal?' and on and on."
"My boss is one of those people who constantly switch diets and do nothing but talk about it — from keto to vegan to paleo to fasting — and tell you how you should do each one.
"They also do 'health challenges' to help with insurance that spiral out of hand. The first year, I almost broke down in HR, telling them that we could NOT do a 'weight loss' challenge with prizes. This year, there was a 'take the stairs instead of the elevator' challenge, and it spiraled into people racing, comparing times, and mocking the people who were not participating.
"I work really hard, and I know that I cannot control the world around me, but it's over-the-top."
2."Firstly, call centers are the absolute worst place to work as it is. I was recovering from breaking three limbs in multiple places, and I had PTSD and ADHD. I had to get a doctor's note for everything that should have just been evident, and then they would try to bypass the note anyway."
"All I needed was a footrest and a keyboard tray to make it through the day. I also could not do overtime because it was too much on my body to sit at a desk that long, and I needed breaks every two hours. All of those are pretty normal things many people need, and are not difficult to do. Well, they would sometimes let other people sit at my desk and expect me to to work without accommodation, or else I wasn’t a 'team player.' They got mad at me for having a panic attack, and accused me of faking it. They ended up doing an 'at will' layoff on me, but I improved my life so much after I left there (my next job actually treated me like a human)."
3."I was diagnosed with chronic migraines earlier this year. They were so bad that I literally wanted to die a few times, I was so unwell. I kept going to work because I grew up with the military-family mindset of 'Go to work unless your leg has fallen off, and even then, just hop.'"
"Anyway, at work, we have the radio on. So while I'm at work in pain, I'm just asking if we can turn the music down — not off, just down — and not also have a Bluetooth speaker playing different music at the back of the store. I changed the station a few times if it was playing thumping dance or screaming rock because that made the pain worse. Several young, male colleagues acted like I was literally just being a brat because I didn't like the music being played."
4."I have a mood disorder (bipolar II), ADHD, and anxiety, and it affects me at work sometimes. Even though my boss and HR know I have these disorders, no accommodations have been made."
"I can be irritable and get easily stressed or overwhelmed. So when the pandemic hit and all the social unrest was happening, I wasn't handling it very well. The company I work for wasn't doing anything for employees, like checking in to see how we were and if we needed anything. It was just business as usual for them.
"Because it was outwardly noticeable how much I was affected, I was spoken to by HR and my boss about how my behavior was affecting my coworkers. It's something I'm constantly working on, but 2020 was uncharted territory for the whole world. I didn't know what to do with myself or how to handle my moods. Instead of reprimanding me and saying my work was 'lacking,' they could have said, 'We noticed you may be having a hard time right now; is there anything we can do to help?' Nope, I had to suck it up and pretend everything was fine. Just because you can't physically see something doesn't mean it isn't there. I can't just turn it off or snap out of it. It's exhausting trying to be 'normal.'"
—Anonymous
5."I have spina bifida (myelomeningocele) but have been fortunate enough to be totally mobile and mostly able-passing. I still have all the associated issues despite being able to hide my condition — including issues with my bladder."
"I am a teacher, and the biggest issue I face in my day-to-day is around bathroom breaks. It is considered a badge of honor to ‘hold it all day’ and go without breaks because we are busy. I don’t have the luxury of holding it in, but I’m still held to the same standard, including working through breaks and not being able to leave my classroom because of a lack of other available adults. I have also been given the only classroom without a bathroom attached. I’m the youngest staff member, and rooms are hierarchical. I get it, but it sucks. I don’t feel like I can make a fuss because I would be seen as a troublemaker."
—Anonymous
6."My boss was having a mandatory bonding day where our job would close and we would go to an escape room. All employees were to attend. I have dysautonomia (hyperadrenergic POTS) and said I will not be participating."
"I was told that if I didn't attend, I would have to sit at my job alone until everyone got done with the escape room and work. Except there was no work, because as mentioned above, we would be closed. There would be no clients to see or anything.
"Also, hello…it is during a pandemic. It was a terrible idea. I guess enough people complained about the idea because we ended up doing a murder mystery at work instead."
7."I'm bipolar and I started having an anxiety attack at work. I took one of my emergency pills. It made me drowsy, but I was still able to focus."
"Later, we were all in a circle taking about what we were going to do to step things up today. One manager asked if I was OK, and I explained I was drowsy from meds I took to concentrate. In front of everyone, my other boss said, 'Well, at least you would have been awake.' I said, 'I would have been awake, but I wouldn't have been able to work.'
"Later, I was informed I was being disrespectful. Now I feel like I can't take my medications when I need them."
8."I'm not able to work at the moment due to my disability and chronic illnesses, but when I first started getting ill and experiencing chronic pain, I was still working in retail as a cashier."
"My work occupational health team did nothing to help as I had no diagnosis yet (still don't), so I had no support in place to help me do my job. I was missing more and more shifts because of flare-ups, and I was getting regular disciplinary meetings. I finally had to get signed off sick by a doctor before I had to quit two or three months later after no improvement in my health."
—Anonymous
9."I was working a temp job and was already insecure because I couldn’t seem to land full-time work. I was worried it was because people were noticing my disability."
"One day, my temp job had me sticking barcode labels on textbooks. I can’t move as quickly as an able-bodied person and hadn’t told them I have a disability. I was pressured to go more quickly and made to feel like I was lazy, when really, I was trying my hardest. Another temp job let me go because I didn’t have enough dexterity to use a letter opener properly. Temp work isn’t disability-friendly!"
—Anonymous
10."I have Type 1 diabetes, and it’s been hard in every profession I've been in to manage blood sugars when breaks, stress, and schedules aren’t in my control. I once blacked out at my register when I was a cashier at Whole Foods because my blood sugar went low during a rush at the store."
"I was a high school teacher for a number of years, and I had to position my desk in the back corner of the room so I’d have a bit of privacy if I needed to test my blood, take insulin, or treat low blood sugar without the attention of all the students. I often didn’t eat lunch until my planning period at the end of the day because it was the only time I could time my insulin and meal appropriately.
"One of the big reasons I left teaching was the toll it took on my body and how stressful it was. There were a number of days when I went to work after having a night of low blood sugars so bad, I lost consciousness (aka nearly died), then had to slap a smile on my face for 7 a.m. because taking sick days was so looked down upon.
"Now I work remotely at a desk job, and I love how much easier it is for me to manage my day. It’s still not perfect, though. If I go low right before a meeting, it can be cause for panic. If I feel like crap, I have to still slap that smile on my face for meetings and push through. That’s what a lot of us call it — 'pushing through.' There are times I’m so low I can’t read, and recovery can take upwards of an hour. But we push through and hope that when we ask for a break, or for help, our team listens."
—Anonymous
11."I have multiple sclerosis (RRMS; diagnosed the day before my 30th), and I always feel guilty if I’m tired or achy or I have brain fog, since I know I am seen with pity eyes."
"I used to conquer my job as a registered nurse, and I was great at it until I wasn’t. I ended up quitting that job and taking a huge pay cut simply because I couldn’t do the 12- to 14-hour shifts. Now I am on a great medicine regimen, and I feel more like myself pre-MS than ever before, but I could never go back to my old job. I will always get the pity eyes and would never be trusted with any important tasks, which sucks."
12."I have two autoimmune disorders as well as complex PTSD and chronic migraines. I went through five jobs in three years. Everywhere I worked wouldn't make an accommodation for me to work flexible hours, even though I had salaried positions and could meet deadlines when working flexible hours."
"One place used the 'at will' excuse to fire me, even though I'd met all deadlines and never had any complaints from clients, coworkers, or my supervisor. I know they simply didn't want to deal with accommodating me. I now have a fully remote job with flexible hours, as I realized this is the only way I'm able to be successful in my career."
13."I was going through the initial flare-up of my autoimmune disease in 2016 while working full time at McDonald's. I had all proper medical evidence, and my managers were as good as they could be about not questioning when I needed a day off."
"However, one coworker (who ironically was known as a slacker) made a point to always comment on my schedule and how 'one week you'll be in for all your shifts and no one will have to cover for you.' They never covered for me and had no right to make comments about the time off I was legally entitled to as someone with a chronic illness. But at the time, I let it slide because it was all so new to me and I was embarrassed."
—Anonymous
14."I've been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis for 10 years, and it has caused havoc with my work life a fair number of times."
"Due to fatigue, constant need for the toilet, and abdominal and joint pain, people often assume I'm being lazy with my work, when it is the opposite. Those with chronic invisible conditions often get labeled as 'faking' or 'attention seeking,' when in reality, we have to learn to deal with an unpredictable condition.
"I wish people would understand how awful we feel and we can't help it. We really wish people would listen and understand instead of belittling us. We're trying our best."
15."I have had to give up my job since becoming disabled. I used to teach children with behavioral and learning problems, and I loved it. My back, however, means I’m constantly in pain and I can do very little."
"Plus, the school I worked at wasn’t suitable for someone in a wheelchair. There were no lifts, and lots of stairs everywhere. Sure, I could get a job in another school, but all the local ones are the same and I don’t drive. Public transport is a no-go for me; it used to make me anxious before — even more so in a wheelchair.
"Places like to think they’re accessible for all, but that’s just not true. So many pavements are uneven for wheelchairs or there's nowhere to come off or up a path. I’ve had hotels apologize that they couldn’t accommodate me as they only have stairs, shops where the aisles are crammed full of promotions, and not to mention being able to reach higher up."
16.And finally, "I have ADHD and spent years finding a medication regimen that worked great for me. However, I recently had to wean myself off my prescription in preparation for trying to have a baby."
"I work in healthcare and was heavily involved in COVID-response work, so I am dealing with major burnout while also trying to navigate being totally unmedicated for the first time in 10 years. My work is fully remote at the moment, and remaining focused while working from home is extremely challenging.
"However, going back into an office environment where I won’t be free to pace and use fidget toys to cope with my ADHD feels incredibly daunting as well. I don’t feel comfortable disclosing my struggles to my boss or to my team, so I’m just trying to keep my head above water and hoping I don’t get in trouble for being less consistently productive than when I was on my meds."
—Anonymous
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
