She: The guy left me because he thought I tried to seek attention?

Friend 1: Do you feel that way?

Friend 2: And what’s bad in being a girl who needs male attention? Is it harmful? If it ends up with you being called a ‘Bitch’, so let it be, why please him?

She: For God’s sake, I am not a people pleaser! I love him, that’s why I’m trying to explain things out loud. Otherwise why even bother explaining it to any Tom, Dick or Harry?

Friend 2: Babe, you are trying to explain and hence please him. If he needs to he will dig for the truth. Otherwise narcissistic traits need not be validated, not by you or anyone!

Well, this conversation above gave you some context on how ladies converse among themselves. But believe me, there are layers to this mental awkwardness called ‘Pleasing Them Much’ and explaining yourselves just to stay in good books. Multiple contexts and you can be forced to try and manipulate the person you love to believe you are an awesome soul, without any demerits. But the real question is why do we do that?

Maybe we are too ambitious and competitive. Ain’t that the most basic vibe you imbibe being born! Your parents have unrealistic expectations way before you are even cut out from the placental link! Even if their childhood needs were never met with good parental benevolence, our parents try to overdo the lacking when in authority.

Becoming intrusive in every matter, setting goals every now and then, comparing with peers or neighbors to increase performance, physically, verbally or mentally abusing them knowingly or unknowingly, such that we kids start partially believing that we are supposed to relive our parent’s lives. Some parents even affect their kids emotionally to such an extent that we become dependent on anything or everything, revealing to them and waiting for validation or mere solutions to problems, thus becoming aloof to your needs as well. And so the cycle continues.

The conundrum is real here. Parents build in very high standards or values – Pratistha, Parampara, and Anushasan! If you are an extrovert, you have friends (and that includes bullies too), unimaginable pressure of performing well in school, being a cool kid, the exact balance between naughty, geek, champ, and disciplined all in one! And if you are an introvert, the mere pressure to open up and make friends, which is then followed by all other extrovert challenges.

Then comes body positivity, agreeing to all the flaws, pseudo acceptance of them, trying to turn them into a sword, and blah blah blah. But are you really bought on that idea! Fine lines are too evident, dark circles too colossal, and mid-life crisis a real pain, worse than the hurting back.

Also, why forget social media? And the rule of thumb is ‘stay up-top, always presentable, and speak intelligent words’.

The list is endless and the mere insecurities are too vivid to even close in one article.

But ponder upon this, do we really need to explain ourselves? Why are we so hung up on the idea of making sense of everything we did? Why are we so melodramatic when it comes to a second person not accepting it the way we are? Why implicate this tragic hatred or self-doubt just because the other person refuses to let go of that image they built about you and you could not fit in by a couple of inches? Why complicate the brain into overthinking that maybe I should say my truth again and again and that way others might find it believable?

All the answer lies within, start unwinding. Sit with yourself. It’s high time you don’t succumb to your inner ‘Bitch.’