Domestic Violence Awareness should be all year, victim and advocates say
Nov. 2—EDITOR'S NOTE — This is the second in a five-part series on domestic violence. The topic may be too sensitive for some readers.
Cheyenne witnessed a deadly act 20 years ago when she saw her adoptive father Greg Wheeler shoot her mother and 7-year-old brother. Her mother had recently divorced Wheeler due to domestic abuse and drug use. He was returning the children after visitation.
She said Wheeler broke down the door of the room they were hiding in, shot her mom in the face, then grabbed her little brother and shot him in the head before turning the gun on himself. Cheyenne, then 9, witnessed the shooting as she hid under the bed.
Her mother survived, but Bryar Wheeler didn't; he died a few days later in the hospital.
Domestic Violence changed her family's life. Because of that, Cheyenne wants people to be aware of its impact, beyond Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
"I don't think domestic violence is just a monthly thing, it's all the time, every day," she said. "You hear about it all the time and I definitely think it needs to, something needs to happen where families get protected more ... because it is a long process."
Jet Turner, Marketing and Communications Manager at Wings of Hope said, the purpose of Domestic Violence Awareness month is to draw attention to the issue and the impact it has on survivors, their children and the generations to follow.
"The end of October brings the end of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but the awareness should not end there," he said. "Domestic violence is not an issue centralized to one month, just like the long-term effects the survivors of domestic violence may suffer lasts much longer."
Cheyenne remembered being in the second grade and witnessing Wheeler throw her mom down the stairs. Although her mom left her abuser, Wheeler decided to take the life of his son, and try to kill his ex-wife.
Turner said children, regardless of their age, are impacted by violence at home, which was true in Cheyenne's case. She said after the murder she and her mom attended therapy.
Domestic violence numbers
In 2019, the Stillwater Police Department had the highest reports of domestic violence in December, two months after the national awareness month.
Cheyenne's family isn't the only case that ended in murder. For the state of Oklahoma over the past three years, 170 people were killed during domestic violence, with 2020 having the highest murders reported, according to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation.
" It's just not okay for kids to die, women to die just because men want to be abusive ... it's definitely an all the time thing," Cheyenne said.
Turner said WOH works to end the cycle of generational violence for domestic violence, sexual violence and stalking. He said WOH provides safety, hope and empowerment to survivors.
"Abuse is a learned behavior often used as a way of coping, trying to solve problems and control," he said. "If a child sees one parent abuse another, that child may learn to be silent about the abuse, to not express feelings, to not acknowledge the tension at home and much more.
"Children and teenagers exposed to nonviolent adult role models and taught nonviolent problem-solving skills can break this cycle of generational violence. It takes patience, hard work and dedication. It takes making every month Domestic Violence Awareness Month."
