Heartbroken wife and mum-of-two catches her husband texting and soliciting sex with a man in the middle of lockdown

Distraught wife has caught her husband propositioning a man for sex via text
The Australian mum-of-two said she feels her 'world has come to a crashing halt'
She recently stumbled across the messages on her husband's phone
When she confronted him, he reassured her that 'nothing physical' occurred

Published: 05:42 BST, 23 August 2021 | Updated: 05:43 BST, 23 August 2021

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A distraught wife has detailed the moment she caught her husband propositioning a man for sex via text in the midst of a Covid-19 lockdown.

The Australian mum-of-two said she feels her 'world has come to a crashing halt' after she recently discovered the messages on her husband's phone.

'He has been soliciting sex with a man,' she said.

When she confronted him, he reassured her that 'nothing physical' occurred.

'But in my mind where there's smoke, there's fire,' she said.

A distraught wife has detailed the moment she caught her husband propositioning a man for sex via text in the midst of a Covid-19 lockdown (stock image)

She shared her story anonymously in a Facebook group, asking fellow parents on how she should approach the situation with her two teenage kids.

'I'm currently navigating a separation, in the middle of a lockdown when I can't get any space. We have two teens - including a son in Year 12, so trying to keep things as calm as possible until exams are done. This can feel insurmountable,' the mum said.

'While I think it's important to protect the kids from adult problems, I also feel they should have some say in how things are resolved in the separation because they are intelligent and self aware and deserve to have their voices heard.'

The mum went on to explain how she 'doesn't feel right to blindside' her children or drag them into the couple's s*** storm'.

After sharing her dilemma, many shared their own experiences and advice to help the mum figure out a sensible way to talk to her kids.

'My parents separated in Year 12 when my dad met someone else. It was such a shock to my mum and she was incredibly hurt. They were very upfront with my sister and I around what happened. Looking back, I appreciate that a lot,' one woman said.

'They both told us in very matter of fact ways and that really helped. Despite being so hurt, my mum has never once said anything negative to us about dad. I've never felt like I needed to take sides or that mum would be hurt if we spent time with him.'

What should you do if you catch your partner micro-cheating?

Whatever your perception of micro-cheating, setting clear boundaries with your partner is crucial to avoiding miscommunications, turned disagreements leading to future breakups.

Relationship coach Louanne Ward, from Perth, has several tips for dealing with a micro-cheater:

1. Don't over-react or come from an accusatory standpoint.

2. Before opening the discussion make sure your past isn't triggering insecurities causing an over-reaction.

3. Open the conversation by telling your partner it isn't a big deal, but you'd like to share something with them.

4. Communicate your perceptions and how you feel and allow your partner the same opportunity.

5. Open the discussion on boundaries, and what your definitions of micro-cheating to ensure you're on the same page.

6. Resist the urge to break the trust by snooping through your partner's phone, iPad or computer. Trust your intuition.

7. If your partner is insensitive to your feeling and requests and things don't change, consider whether it's better to simply end things.

Another woman suggested the mum should just tell her kids their parents are no longer in a loving and committed relationship due to a breach of trust.

'But under no circumstances is it your place to out your husband's sexuality. If he does decide to tell them, it's important to keep your hurt and anger at the betrayal completely separate from the discussion of his sexual identity,' he said.

Meanwhile, others had a different approach to the situation, with one woman writing: 'Maybe an unpopular opinion but is it such a deal breaker?

'Can't he see or f*** a few men on the side? Doesn't mean you have to separate. Give him a little understanding and maybe grab a side hustle for yourself while you're at it,' she added.

Another woman agreed with her, saying: 'A marriage - a good one - is about so much more than sex. Perhaps this doesn't need to be a deal breaker?

'Talk to him about it. See if he still wants everything you have built together. See how you feel about it too, just you without thinking about what society would say. How your marriage works is between you and him. This doesn't have to be the end.'