His Divine Wiseness rides again

The Olympics have bid goodbye, Kohli got a duck, the third wave threatens to come, and so does Akki’s latest movie. I say what better time for some more life-affirming advice from His Divine Wiseness, Dr Funky Astral Kumar.

No one achieves success without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude. It is better than giving equity.

It is like the appendix. No one knows what it’s there for.

Courage is answering the doorbell despite knowing it’s the neighbours with an invite for their daughter’s dance recital.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. A negative attitude, on the other hand, lets you sit back with a drink in your hand and say, ‘Baby, could you get me the oorga?’

It takes years to build a reputation and seconds to destroy it. So why bother?

It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself. That is why you make your wife or seven-year-old ask them.

I am made by my belief. As I believe, I am. I believe I will have another Ceylon egg parotta.

True devotion is when your involvement with the divine is so absolute that you yourself do not matter any more. It could also mean you are dead, though.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Money, of course, is the duplicate key to both.

To know one’s ignorance is true knowledge. To use it well, now that is wisdom.

Life is a journey. If you get a window seat, the view might be good but going to the loo becomes difficult.

One chicken’s karma is another man’s kurma.

There is no greater loneliness than poor WiFi in your bathroom.

You call it a burp. I call it a precious memory of the garlic fried rice from three days ago.

In every encounter with nature, one always receives more than one seeks. On my last trip, it was ticks.

These are disguised as hard work. Which is why most people don’t recognise them. Come to think of it, old classmates are hard to recognise, too. Because they become bald and fat. Lol!

The knowledgeable man has the right answers. The intelligent one asks the right questions. The wise man sits between these two fellows in class.

The key to a good relationship is not the length of time you have spent together. It is the frequency of intervals you’ve spent apart.

You are the universe. Expressing itself as a human for a brief period. And as a d-bag the rest of the time.

Talent is an anagram of latent. Just like anagram is an anagram of... er... maranga. What does that mean? How should I know? I can’t tell you everything.

Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited an anthology.