The smash-hit aughts sitcom Friends has dominated our collective unconscious ever since news of the reunion broke, and now, there’s a brand new fan conspiracy theory to concern ourselves with: namely, the apocryphal rumor that Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer are dating IRL. Yes, Schwimmer’s rep tersely denied that the two are together, but we can dream, can’t we?
- What year is it?
- No, literally, what year is it?
- Are we humans on this mortal coil doomed to just repeat the past for the rest of our lives?
- I think there’s a Fitzgerald quote about this. Hold on, I’m going to Google it.
- Oh, here it is: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
- Okay, just to play devil’s advocate, if Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer did get married, would all the Friends attend?
- It’s truly impossible for me to think about David Schwimmer without recalling his guest spot on the Matt LeBlanc-led series Episodes, in which he basically plays himself, but significantly more craven.
- I wonder what Justin Theroux is up to, speaking of Aniston’s former paramours.
- Oh, damn, I didn’t realise this because I am a terrible culture reporter and didn’t actually watch the Friends reunion, but apparently Aniston and Schwimmer admitted they had secret crushes on each other during filming. Aw!
- Allow me one Friends reference, and only one: He’s her lobster!
- Real talk: Do we think Aniston and Schwimmer ever hooked up on set? I mean, they’re not going to admit it, but it seems possible.
- For that matter, what other hijinks did the Friends cast get up to? Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc? Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry? If Monica and Chandler ever actually kissed each other IRL, I would simply die of joy.
- Honestly, I thought Schwimmer was married, but Wikipedia informs me he’s been divorced since 2017. A single man!
- I feel kind of bad participating in the Aniston dating discourse, given how obsessively the tabloids have monitored her post-Pitt relationships, but... that’s the job.
- I just learned from IMDb (thanks, websites!) that Schwimmer was in a poorly reviewed rom-com with Gwyneth Paltrow in 1996, and I will now make it my life’s mission to unearth and view said rom-com.
- On that note, I should really rewatch my favourite Aniston movie of all time, The Object of My Affection.
- Okay, sorry, back to Schwimmiston (the best celebrity-couple portmanteau I could come up with, TBH). I can’t believe they visited a vineyard together!
- Sure, you could argue that friends visit vineyards together all the time, and it’s not necessarily romantic, but... come on. It’s a vineyard.
- I wonder if the other Friends feel slighted that they weren’t invited to go wine-tasting.
- Just wondering: if Aniston and Schwimmer wed, would she also walk down the aisle to the Friends theme song? Would the reception take place on the Central Perk set? Would the babies who played Ross and Rachel’s daughter Emma go?
- Wow, I totally forgot that the Emmas are all grown up and in Jordan Peele movies.
- I wonder whether Aniston and Schwimmer are red or white wine fans. Or rosé?
- At the end of the day, all I really want is for Jen to be happy. David too, I guess, but mostly Jen.
This article originally appeared on Vogue.com
Also read:
10 unexpected revelations we learnt from ‘Friends: The Reunion’