An Ode to Mid-Life!

Game. Set. Match. Life is a series of excitement and you feel poised to win. And then one morning, it feels difficult to get out of bed. And then the next day, following the daily routine feels tougher. And then fatigue keeps building to a point where you start questioning all the choices you have made in your life. Welcome to the confusion!

Mid-life is referred to in the dictionary as the age between 45-55 years on average; the age bracket shifting towards the younger side with subsequent generations. And on average, it is a tricky age for most people to be living with; tricky enough to have a designated an oft-repeated term assigned – ‘The Midlife Crisis’.

The Midlife Crisis also finds a place in the dictionary and is defined as a phase in an individual’s life where they are struggling with their mortality and identity. It is a phase of highs and lows, confusion and disillusionment, euphoria and drive, and eventual self-discovery or rediscovery.

All around us, in the happy and potentially successful faces, lies a restlessness that many identify with. Uninterrupted conversations reveal a certain level of despondency that nearly everyone seems to possess. In sharp contrast to the age a decade earlier, where everyone is filled with hopes and dreams and is convinced that they have life sorted out now; this new phase feels particularly difficult after the euphoria and additionally lonely – feeling like the only struggler amidst a sea of achievers. It is ironic that everyone is struggling and feeling alone in their struggle.

The reason for the confusion varies. Some people are dissatisfied with their jobs, stuck in a rut wanting to break out into a different league.

Some others are very successful and dissatisfied for they yearn for much more and feel restricted by the current circumstances.

Some find themselves churning in daily responsibilities around family and children.  Some realise they have lost out on the family in the race.

Many have hectic social lives but internal communication broke down and dissatisfaction crept into daily lives. Many feel they have got so caught up in the present that they have lost out on themselves.

In some form or the other, everyone is fighting a lone battle.

A feeling of being trapped, a fantasy of escaping, long-held beliefs falling apart, a constant internal and external struggle and debate – it can be an emotionally draining period.

However, like every cloud, this too comes with a silver lining. If we zoom out and look at life, it seems to come in troughs and crests. The carefree childhood is followed by the complicated teenage years; early adulthood is high and then the midlife hits.

From this perspective, maybe midlife is the second teenage, where we are again growing up, reshuffling our lives, adjusting, accommodating, and changing. It is a transition towards another phase that requires a different version of us, a different mindset, and a whole new approach to life.

As the world around us evolves at a very fast pace, most memories which we spent the first half of our lives become just that – memories. Maybe we question our lives and choices because a lot of what we believed to be true and set in stone does not exist anymore, not in the same form at least. Potentially as we also start reaching the peak in our careers, learnings start to stop, bodies start to weaken, children start to grow up and need us lesser – our world which we thrived in till now begins to shapeshift, leaving us feeling lost unless we re-carve and re-sculpt.

A new skill, a new hobby, a new line of thought, a new career or role, a new level of fitness – calling out an imperative and impending need to discover and display self-love.

As much unsettling as it is, just like the confusing teens, maybe the disillusioned midlife is the harbinger of another phase of growth and satisfaction. Amen to that!