Ballymena: Rare cancer diagnosis leads to unlikely friendship

A goth in black biker boots and the "blondest person you've ever seen" who loves the colour pink may seem like an unlikely pairing on paper.

It was even strange, at first, for Amber Scott, 22, and Cat McKenna, 21.

But the two young women from Ballymena, in County Antrim, had a lot in common. They both had neuroendocrine cancer, a rare form of the disease.

After being introduced by a nurse, the unlikely friendship has helped them get through some of their toughest days.

"When we talked, the first thing Amber said to me is: 'I am really blonde, I'm the blondest person you've ever seen, I'm impossible to miss'," said Cat, who was diagnosed with cancer aged 20.

"And I said: 'Well, I'm a big goth - and I'm also impossible to miss'."

The pair met at a coffee shop, after a suggestion by their nurse from Teenage Cancer Trust, Kerrie.

Amber admitted they "were sat there like the odd pair".

"I was wearing something feminine and pink and she was in black head to toe with black hair and these big biker boots and I was like, 'I hope I don't see anyone I know'," she said.

"When we started talking about what we had been through we realised that we'd had a relatively similar reaction to things, and that we could relate to each other and have a laugh."

The meeting offered a chance to relax after the agonising time both women had endured.

They were delighted to be able to confide in each other about their experiences.

"After I was diagnosed, I felt very isolated from everything - my family and friends, just everything," said Cat.

"I did not cry a lot. I was just silently sad for such a long time.

"They discovered a neuroendocrine tumour in part of my appendix and that it had grown into the right-hand side of my bowel, it was a shock."

Five months later, Amber was diagnosed with the same thing.

"We both had to have major bowel surgery and the cancer has left lasting damage," said Cat.

"When I talk about the after-effects, she just gets it. That is what is so important to me."

According to research from Teenage Cancer Trust, 75% of young people with cancer found that their friendships changed.

Many said friends stopped contacting them as much, with 49% of respondents citing awkwardness over what their friends felt they should say or do when they were diagnosed as the reason for a loss of contact.

"My advice to someone who has found out their friend has cancer is to not allow cancer to have the spotlight over your friend," said Cat.

"Yes, your friend has cancer and yes, that's a horrible, difficult and traumatic thing for anyone of any age.

"But when you're young and just getting to know yourself, going through changes every single day, and then suddenly you've got this huge other change called cancer, the last thing you want is to be identified with your cancer rather than who you are as a person, who you've built yourself to be.

"You get that feeling enough whenever you're hooked up to machines or spending days, months, years in hospitals and doctor's offices.

"You have the power as a friend to identify with them and help them through that, so love your mates as much as you've always done and keep them in the loop."

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